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I hate these dreams! At first I had dreams of " them" together. Those are terrible. Still have those. But now I am dreaming of my Wh and I in R. And we aren't in R. This is awful because then I wake up and it hurts all over again, not that the pain has gone away ....I don't know if this pain will ever leave

(((((savvy)))))

(((Savvy)))

You and I are going through the same shit, at the same time. We are experiencing the very same things. Aren't we lucky?(!)

I feel ya

I'm in R but have nightmares about D-Day or that I just found out my husband has been cheating on and lying to me for two years. Usually, when you wake up from a nightmare you can rest with the idea it's not true/reality. Instead I wake up and go Oh wait, not only was that a nightmare but it IS true and it IS my reality.

Hugs to you guys. I hope your spouses eventually realize their little fantasy worlds are actually nightmares.

Oh savvy, I'm so very sorry this is happening to you! I have dreams about me and my WH being together and doing things we use to do all the time. It's just like a kick in the gut every single night. Hang in there friend, eventually it has to get better for all of us....including you allatsea!

HUGS to you!!!!!

(((hugs))) to all of you.

One thing that I noticed on this awful journey is that for a time, the mind movies or dreams/visions left and it was during better periods of detatchment.

There are questions I have along these lines, if people don't mind?

I don't seem to dream at night-not that I remember, but I don't really sleep, either. A spotty 20 minutes here or there.

Mine come during the day or evening when I dose off. There are also triggers.

There is a new trigger for the mind movies that scares me and any advice is welcome. As many of you know I am pregnant. The baby to be was my "happy thought" for a time, for the first month or two. Now, when I think of him, it brings the mind movies.

I struggle with the thought of all the things in life an A and cheating touch. Even unborn children.

I am losing my house and doing that all alone, so I wonder if the extra pressure is making them return somehow? Do they come when we are most vulnerable or down?

And I don't even love or care for the guy anymore...as the truest colors come out, it "helps" detach more...so the visions/mind movies are difficult to understand at this point. But, they are truly terrible.

I have a big goal to detatch them from the baby, but I don't know how. I don't want anything to do with IT to do with him...does that make sense?

Thanks for any thoughts and hope you will all find some peace soon.

I have dreams all the time. It's terrible for obvious reasons, but also bc then I start the day off badly.

I don't think the pain will ever completely leave either. Which makes it so scary to stay in R. This stupid thing is here to stay. Forever. Along with its capacity to hurt me.

Blah.....

Ashland,

Your story is truly tragic. I think you may find that mind movies are worse when you are tired. I am more emotional when tired and/ or hungry. You will never dispense of them completely but you can minimise their occurence by getting more sleep (easier said than done)

I am by no means an expert and suffer from mind movies and triggers all the time, but what I do know is that detachment and not seeing the WS is the best way of all. Whenever I see WW I find that I am desperately low and reminisce about the past and mourn the death of my future with her.

It's taken me a while to detach, and I fail regularly,(and the folks here beat me over the head) but I'm starting to get it.

Hugs to you.

[This message edited by allatsea at 10:15 AM, May 21st (Tuesday)]

Thanks for replies everyone. This whole thing really just sucks!!!

I wish everyone here some peace.

Allatsea yes are we lucky aren't we... it really is miserable. I think my problem that I am having is that I see my Wh on a daily basis at our store and he is being very nice to me. Maybe this is triggering the R dreams. I really wish I didn't have to see him all the time. But I also get down when I don't. My emotions are so all over the place I just hate this so much. So much pain!!!

[This message edited by savvy at 12:49 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]