I guess I keep snooping because I'm in limbo....don't know what is going to happen. Is this a trial separation headed towards R or is this a trial separation headed towards D? I have no idea. I want R but I have no idea what he wants. After his actions last weekend I have a feeling he thinks this is a 3 month "hall pass" where he can do whatever he wants and whomever he wants. It just pisses me off! I sent him a Facebook message telling him that we need to discuss the separation, kids and finances this weekend and to let me know when we could get together. He never responded as he's better at doing the 180 than I am. Right now, this very minute, if he doesn't get a hold of me I will just file for divorce as I'll know he doesn't care anymore. But that's right now, who knows about later today or tomorrow or Monday. I'm a confused emotional mess.
I actually have done pretty good with not looking at the bill yesterday and so far today. I didn't look at it from 5:00 yesterday until 7:00 this morning. I haven't looked at it since. Baby steps!
Thank you to everyone who has responded; I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this OCD behavior although I wish I was; I don't wish this on anyone!!!!!