Mind me asking why your H need to talk to her for school purposes? Do they work together?
Ok - never mind. Just read that they do work together.
He can make an effort to NOT speak to her whenever possible. Not sit in the same group in the lunch room, meetings, etc. But he needs to have that conversation with her or perhaps write a letter that you witness. ie: saying that NC would be the best possible solutation but bc it not possible given our work situation, I would ask for your respect in refraining from speaking to me unless absolutely necessary given that my #1 priority is R with my wife.
She needs to know that YOU are his #1. You come first.
[This message edited by LA44 at 2:14 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]
In addition, his focus should be more on fixing himself than your marriage.
I read this book as well, and while ok, I belive "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass to be far superior. In addition, there is a quick read by Linda McDonald called "how to help your spouse heal from your affair" that he should be required to read before proceeding to R.
Best of luck.
Every time he would go to work (at a bar where there's women, booze, and working till 2am), I would get so angry and send him hate text messages. I know! I was seriously out of control with my emotions. Now, I have no problem with him going to work. That's just my story.
If I were you, I would tell him how much it hurts you for him to see her regularly.
Sorry, just read your tag lines. You are S. I wish you the best.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 3:26 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]
Haven't read that book you said but would have to recommend "Not just friends". Excellent read. Especially since he still has some contact with OW.
I too am apprehensive and so is WW. She not only because of what she's done to the marriage, but also because she's a mess.