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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Whatever gets you through the night...
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Singing that Beatles' song...last night was rough!

I got up around 4am with thoughts of them together. I just could not turn off! I must have read one too many posts yesterday and likely impacted my alrady vulnerable state of mind. Most times they are helpful, other times, I feel the opposite.

Around 5:30am I got up to make the kids' lunchs. Then I looked at an old Vanity Fair. There was Kate Middleton on the Best Dressed list. Honestly...I was so tired by then that I got back into bed and focused on her wardrobe.

Like I said...whatever gets you through the night!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2463 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..LA..

..

I just could not turn off!

..yes, some nights, the thoughts and nightmares just won't let me sleep, so i get up and go downstairs to change my focus..

watch TV, grab a bite to eat..

..i yearn for a real night's sleep..

..sending you ZZZzzzzzzz's for tonight..

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you my maple leafs friend!

Bought my Relora supplement for tonight so that will surely help. Plus my brain is tired.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2463 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to have the tv on. When its quiet and I close my eyes the memories come unbidden. If the tv is on I close my eyese and concentrate on what is being said. I drift off that way. If I wake up and the tv is off, SO does it sometimes, sometimes it goes into sleep mode,I turn it back on before the flood of memories comes back and before the haze of sleep goes away. I get about 5-6 hours on a good night.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."


Posts: 2762 | Registered: Oct 2012
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. I had so many nights I couldn't stop my brain from replaying everything from the A. My mind would spin and spin....

When I couldn't go to sleep I would close my eyes and imagine I have hit mega-bucks, like a few hundred million. I imagine my friends in a limo as we go and spread money around to people ... lol

I still do it to this day. I have gotten pretty good, I am usually asleep by the time the limo is pulling away from our friends house.

((((LA44)))

Whatever it takes


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3846 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sex. sex. and better sex with H. We've been in HB for 6 months when I found out about DDay #1 in November. Weird, isn't it? I know, I don't get it either. The only way we can explain it is that we really love each other...I know it sounds bad when I think of all the bad things he did...I can't explain it. I guess my Catholic school upbringing really did make me turn the other cheek and taught me to forgive and be compassionate.

I think for me, it's a physical way to ease the pain. SO, why not do it with something that feels good! lol. And, we truly do love each other, so that's good, too.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 4:59 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the millionaire fantasy! And good for you LibRocks! Our sex life is better then it has ever been....the HB stopped around month 4.5. I guess when I am SO angry, I can't imagine touching him. Perhaps the trick is to get to him before I hit that red-zone!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2463 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 7

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