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I hate that I have to share so much with the whore. We share friends, business associates, and work within walking distance from each other. Her boss is my boss' Aunt who I have known since I was six, attending school with her daughter. Whore's father and my Uncle have been on a local Board together for over ten years. Whore's daughter babysits for my other Uncle's children.

We also share many friends on Facebook. Most do not know what she did. They will bring up things going on in her life since we all know each other. How she was so "very special" to one of her managers that died. Oh yeah, she was special all right. She used her office to have sex with a married man. SPECIAL

Reconciliation is going fine, I even trust my husband again and have not looked at his cell records in years. My issue is with her. She is still looked upon favorably in the community, her family does not know. Most of her friends don't know. But I know and I want revenge. She knew me, she knew my child. She allowed me to help with fundraisers for her daughters while fucking my husband and trying to entice him to break up our home. She just skips off into the sunset with nary a concern.

I've been around here long enough to know that I need to let her go. But what I need to do and what I "am" doing are different. Did I mention that her niece owns the salon I use???

Just a bad day in a crappy small town....

I lived most of my life in a big city and then went to a small town for several years. I hear your pain! All those connections... how do you keep from exploding?! I can only imagine how hard it is to keep your mouth shut about her "reputation". I have a very hard time not telling people who we know that don't live by us, it must be really hard for you!

I am so happy your R is going well, to say you trust him again is wonderful and gives me much hope!

Take care,

I live in a small town. OW lives here too. We have friends in common. Even friends who grew up and moved away. Not only does she not have real consequences, when anyone asks why we don't talk anymore, she tells them that she 'just can't stomach' me. If the person is someone close, who I trust, it is at that point when I tell the mutual friend at least part of the story. I figure that if she can attack me to my friends, I can at least defend myself.

Yup. I live in a mall town with mow and her BH, along with my wxh. It sucks- I run into one of them pretty often.

Ugh. I don't think I'd be able to let her off like that. You are a better person than me.

I can't imagine living like that and not trigger all the time. You are so brave and strong. What's important is that you trust your husband again and your marriage has recovered. That's something I'd like to say, someday. As far as ow is concerned, she'll get what she deserves one day. Don't waste an ounce of energy thinking about her.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and for understanding how I feel.

I feel your pain on this one. The worst part is I've always really liked the small town we live in, but since dday it's felt super claustrophobic.

OW in my case is a highly respected school teacher at one of the elementary schools, everyone thinks she's such an upstanding citizen, president of the local running club, so involved within the community, blah, blah, blah... In reality she's a home wrecker with no morals.

Doesn't change the fact she's also my brother and sister in laws former neighbour and my nephews former teacher, oh and my WH's former tryst!

I still dream of posting her smut filled emails on the running club bulletin board at the rec centre for the world to see. But for now I'm content with the fact she'll probably hesitate a little every time she enters the dairy aisle at Safeway and sees a brunette woman in the yogurt section.

It sucks, just plain sucks!

Not sure if this will make you feel better, but I envy you a little...let me explain why! I also live in a small town. I have occasionally seen the Whore in Walmart, or at the local fair, but can't say I run into her often and we don't seem to share many of the same friends.

She used to frequent the business we owned, when my H was working there, of course. She tried to rent an apartment from me under false pretenses...telling me that her H was abusive and she was leaving him. Amazing how she left out the fact her plan was to use the place as a love nest for my H and herself.

But anyway, I would LOVE to have a way to learn more about her...by hearing about her acts in the community, or even her posting dumb revealing crap about her stupid life on Facebook. But she is not active in the community and seems to have no life at all (ironically, she once told me to "Get a Life!" LOL).

But no, she is not on FB and has no internet presence. In 2006, H said she "didn't know how to turn on a computer and had no interest to learn." I believe that is still the case. She is also a high school dropout and does not travel in the same circles as we do...we are educators and I have a Ph.D.

Because my H is one of those "can't remember" or "I don't know" kind of guys, I have spent a lot of energy and even some money for investigative reports to try to find out anything at all about that whore...just to satisfy my own curiosity, I guess.

About once a year, one of her kids would get married or something, and the kid or their SO would post pics on FB. I got some pics of the whore in these weddings, and of course they were mostly not flattering and so I took some pleasure in that. The one I liked best was at her one son's wedding where she was wearing what seriously would pass for a Halloween witch costume black dress. I photo shopped a pointy hat on its head and that was all that was needed. I even showed that one to my H. I must say, he did laugh about it, too.

Of course I know when her kids get married, etc. because it is in our local paper, and I also read their FBs sometimes even though I most certainly have not "friended" any of them. They rarely if ever mention the Whore. It just seems like she does not REALLY exist. I guess for most that would be good, but I would still like to know more about that Whore. You'd think it would be easy for me to find out more and hear a lot about her in a small town, but it is not.

(((((TheClimb)))))

I. Get. It. Your story is very similar to mine with respect to "she just won't go away" (even though NC is in place). And now she has found her "soulmate" who GOD brought to her ... living happily with not a care in the world of the wake of destruction she left behind.

Most times, I am fine, and R is going fine...but like you, there are days where I just say and feel, "WHY?" Why couldn't she suffer? I don't think she's capable.

I vented a couple of weeks ago about the same thing. SI once again came to my aid and made me feel better...yes, I still need some support now and then, even 6 years later...this is my "therapy."

Big hugs,

Lala

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 6:45 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]

Not only does she not have real consequences, when anyone asks why we don't talk anymore, she tells them that she 'just can't stomach' me.

Damn, MLM. Damn. That's some nerve.

I hear you on this one! I have to see OW about every other day as she comes to my work to see her BH. she claims she never had an affair...her BH knows different tho. We have some of the same friends, none know what a lying cheating human she is. My Wexfiance works here too. Somedays I feel like I'm going to loose my mind. Somedays I just want to blast the truth to everyone. But I promised her BH that we would keep it private. She has no remorse and no fear of me. I wish lightning would strike her.