SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am finding myself I think in the beginning of the anger phase, or at least I find myself thinking about it a lot and feeling so hurt and betrayed. I just keep telling myself over and over I cant believe he cheated on me. And i keep thinking about them together and kissing and how awful they were for cheating on their spouse, how incosiderate, and how selfish, and it hurts me and makes me mad. I feel disgusted. I wonder if I can ever get past this, and I am resentful that my WH can just act like nothing happened and have no reprecusions for his actions (tho he says he has had them). He is trying and doing almost everything...he doesnt like to talk about it.

I have so much hate and anger for the OW.

I want to know when can i get past this. When can i stop feeling so angry.

I am also feeling worhtless, like I am worthless to him for him to do that to me, like I am ugly and didnt matter at all to him...after all we fought to be together.

I am also noticing I cant look at pictures and when I do the pics of him before the A....he looks DIFFERENT to me...he does NOT look like the same person at ALL. Even in person...he doesnt look like the same person.

I am so tired of the hate and anger and feeling worthless and needing constant reassurance.

I wonder if he thinks about the A, or thinks about how I am hurting, or is sorry, or feels ashamed.

Any advice or wisdom will be appreciated from either side.

Im just feeling down today. I am quiet lately and he keeps asking why im not talking...its because I am consumed by these feelings.

I think the feelings just cone and go at will. Every time I tried to control my feelings force myself to let go it just made it worse.

The only things that really helped was to really try to feel them and to talk about them.

My anger phase moved on to pity. I had pity for her for how broken and damaged and hurt she was her whole life. She was only doing what she knew. And that is really sad.

I know how you feel. It would be so nice to know that in 3mths, 2days, and 1hour everything will be OK again. That you will be on your way to this wonderful marriage that is even better than before the A and all is forgiven. The facts are that just like the marriage we thought we had, it is all a fairytale fantasy. I am still struggling with this at 18months post DDay#1.

Part of that struggle and the reason it is dragging out is because WH#2 doesn't want to face what he did. He wants to just go back to before his 3yr affair and act like it never happened and he doesn't have a care in the world. He wants to just rug sweep as much as I will allow him to (which is too much, and I am working on that myself now.) Like I told him we can't ignore the elephant sitting in the room until the elephant takes another crap on my floor. It is not going away, but he can make it better with effort on his part to fix himself. We shall see what they do with that second chance.