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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dday # - too many to count or keep track of
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He can't pass a polograph because of his medical condition. After he told me about OW#2, He confessed about OW#3. My gut says there's probably other stupid stuff, maybe on line chatting, that sort of thing. I don't really care and I don't want to know anything else. What I want now is start moving forward and for him to start working on himself.

He came out with the details on OW#2 & 3 on his own finally, and that's one of the break throughs I've been waiting for. This is the first time that he's dislosed without being questioned to death.


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry Chef. My heart aches for you

I know you say you don't really care and don't want to know anything else, but if he's starting to confess, I would really take this opportunity to get everything you can from him so you can make an informed decision on what you want to do. You have to know what you are reconciling from. He can only start moving forward and start working on himself if he's honest about his past.

I think it's good for him too to finally be honest and get all of this off his chest. It means he's facing what he has done and trying to take responsibility for it. That is so very important for healing from this. It does neither of you any good for him to keep secrets from you. I know it's hard to hear, but it causes more disconnect in his mind and yours if he keeps these things hidden away. Let him tell you all of it.

Big huge hugs to you..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's good for him too to finally be honest and get all of this off his chest. It means he's facing what he has done and trying to take responsibility for it.

No, not really. He's trying, but he is really stuck on the disclosure process. If I ask a specific question he answers as short as possible and never offers any additional information. He knows this is a problem for him. But it's killing me, because it's every day.

I have asked him at least 10x's "did OW visit you in the hospital when you passed out at the office in Chicago?" He swore, she never visited, just picked him up. She told me, of course she visited him...

If I confront him with the facts, he's honest most of the time, but he'd never come and admit that he lied and tell the truth on his own.


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chef, I'm right there with you. Mine drags his feet on absolutely everything and will do nothing to make things better. As a result, I'm done. If he can't give me what I need/deserve, fine. I have fought long enough. Hope they can sleep at night. Mine actually told me there's nothing wrong with him. Seriously.
Sorry you're in the same boat.


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jun 2007
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Arklamiss (((hugs)))
I can say that at least my WH knows it's an issue. It's years of conditioning and auto-pilot.

I am grateful that he's aware. He's doing well with everything else. If he keeps working hard, he'll get past this too. I'm just very impatient somedays and have a hard time being compasionate at times. He's a SA and is working hard to get help. I would just like to have 1 week with no new surprises.


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
Titanium
♀ Member
Member # 38866
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too wish i could take away your pain. Use your anger to keep moving forward with this for the moment. I find it gives me strength to be angry and hate his guts.

He doesnt deserve you. Look after you and show him who's boss.

(((((Super big hugs to you))))))
Enjoy the graduation :-)


BS me 48
Him 45 NPD/SA fucktard
1 beautiful DS
M 20 yr T 24
DD#1 Jan 12
DD#2 Aug 12 LTA/PA with pond scum
Divorced....... :))
Shoot me down but I wont fall.
I am Titanium

Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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