I agree, there is a difference between mature love and romantic love, but I also believe I have experienced mature love. We were together for 7 years. The in love feeling didn't last for more than a couple of years. When we married I felt a mature love for him, I didn't still get the butterflies etc.
However, after being treated in a way that is not loving for a long time, I think you disconnect that feeling of even mature love. Unless all of you feel the same kind of love towards your spouses that you do towards your friends. I have mature love for my friends and family. There is a difference between marital love and friend love.
I feel friend love. I don't think that is a mature fulfilling love to develop a marriage on.
But, if you say you choose to have loving feelings, do loving acts, and the love will come, I go back to my question, why if it is just a matter of choosing that you are going to be in love, do you ever end one relationship for another. Why don't we all just choose to be in love all the time?
I don't feel bad feelings about my spouse much, I just believe he is incapable of giving me what I need, and I could choose every day to try and love him and probably be content, but I don't think I would ever love him like he should be loved by someone he is spending his life with.
I am not sure that made any sense