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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What you doing to R today?
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So...what is everyone doing to R today? To mend, repair, heal, help their relationship.

I will start....we had some fun texts and then made a nooner appt. He had IC and we discussed what he MIGHT want to talk about. Up to him of course (just asked that he not talk about the nooner).

Who's next?


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He can't talk about the nooner, but you can????


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not leaving counts some days right?!?!? <BIG SIGH>

In reality, taking some me time, to help sort out where my head is - it's holding me and US back. Need to find a way to grow some gonads for tomorrow's appointment with the surgeon too.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're are right Sisoon! Me being "immature" again! haha

Sodamnlost - surgery? HUGS to you!

Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Searchingforhope
♀ Member
Member # 38437
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice to post a positive LA44..

I am keeping it in the the forefront of my mind that my H was mentally insane and broken during the A so that I can feel compassion for him instead of rage. (See my post)

Does that count?


Me: BW 51 (didn't have a clue)
Him: FWH 54(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs

PA that lasted approx. 2 weeks. OW was a younger but totally screwed up %#@%!

DDay 4-25-12
Reconciling


Posts: 155 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: California
Lostinthismess
♀ Member
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bought not just friends to read and see if it would be helpful for him to read....
Flirted with him over text all the while mulling over how he could have done this


'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 331 | Registered: May 2013
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Searching: Of course that counts! I think feeling compassion for someone who hurts us is a HUGE sign of maturity, grace and strength.

Lost: I know...I get it. I think the same thing when we are being romantic or even just having a nice family time. I do remember reading in After the Affair, Spring wrote...don't wait until you feel 100% loving to ACT that way - it might never happen!

Our cores are good and strong, people. Believe that!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lostinthismess love the tag _HOPE :)

thats awesome some i need to put on my bathroom mirror .

as for the post

We flirted through text today and showed understanding about the emotional ups and downs we both have throughout the day . he felt down he would txt and tell me and i would do the same and we reminded each other that we choose forever with each other and it makes us both feel better....hes is excited to come home today



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!

I like your style LA44!!

I told my H how much I loved him and after 13 years, confessed it was love at first sight...I told him I appreciate all the big and little things he does and how I"m proud of the MAN he he has become.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Recognizing how sweet and compassionate BH is to our family and friends, by telling him, and giving him big smooches and hugs.

Not leaving counts some days right?

Yes. Thanking BH for not leaving. Or booting my sorry butt out.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1236 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lets see,

I went to IC today, came home, told him that I was just not in a great place emotionally right now. I have a lot going on, he listened, we talked about it. This for us is big.

Then he told me had a huge headache that had been bugging him all day, so I gave him a massage to see if it would help. It did.

We agreed that we are in this thing together, for life. We are finally on the same page.

Today was a good day for us in R.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5077 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world. The pollen and allergy hell might get me first though.

But srsly, we're working as a team on getting our house sold, a place to live, and building a new house. That's a lot of stuff! And I'm very proud of him due to his success with his business and I intend to let him know this when I get home.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
UKlady
♀ Member
Member # 39058
Question  Posted: 5:27 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please excuse my ignorance but 'nooner'??


Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world.

I'm with Jana on this one


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

'nooner'??
American colloquialism for sex at lunch time or 12:00 PM. You are not ignorant UKLady.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't know what a nooner was, either and I'm a full on American girl!

But, yes to sex. I noticed the more we have it, the better I feel and closer I feel to him. Can't wait for tonight! We've been so busy lately.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey everyone, I seriously have a lump in my throat reading all you are doing for R.

I also noticed that there is a lot of ahem..."randiness" out there! UK Lady, I am trying to use a British term now! Did I get that right? Being a Canadian gal with our neighbours to the south, I am going to find a way to make everyone happy....eh?

Jana: I hear ya! Allergy season picking up! I use 12 hr Reactine, a herbal supplement called, Aller Plex and homeopathic tablets called, Histamine (or something to that effect) for little flare ups. Fingers crossed!

But seriously SI posters, thanks for sharing!

LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
OptimisticWife
♀ Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sitting in my IC's office waiting for my appointment. H has sent me a nice supportive message

Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
Conflicted1
♀ Member
Member # 39019
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought tickets to showing of Star Trek for tomorrow night and sent to him in email. I HATE scifi so he knows its a sacrifice for him.


Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H has been at work for 14 hours so far today. His kids are home, clean, fed and calm. His suitcase is unpacked and his clothes are clean and folded. The toys are picked up off the floor. Dinner is waiting for him and there is cold beer in the fridge.
And, I got a Depo shot so we don't have to worry about condoms the entire time we are waiting for me to have a permanent birth control procedure.

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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