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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Unfair
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unfair that we love these WS so much ! That they could have had they're fun on the side and still have us. .......I'm sad

Sure he's doing all the right things now but I still get sad ...sure he did plan on a ONS yeah he didn't know her and sure they never spoke a word after and yeah he was pretty cruel to her kicking her out even then still hurts pretty bad . I just look at others stories who have been through worse ...like an Long A or long EA where they're WS was in love I don't know how you beautiful BS do it . I can barely handle this I most positively couldn't have bared a LTA !



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
huRtZ413
♀ Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(Did not plan on a ONS she just came along at the right time at his weakest)



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a true test of forgivness. Some can do it, others simply cannot. My H is lucky I went to Catholic school and learned to forgive and love unconditionally at a young age! lol.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 6:07 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,alcoholic, M6yrs T13. DS 2 DS 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014. He's going to cheat again. But not on me.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Lucky
♀ Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That they could have had they're fun on the side


Sweetie.. first thing to learn, there is nothing, nothing, nothing fun about an affair.

Nothing.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
Hearthache again
♀ Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree nothing fun about an A.


You are suppose to hurt and be sad, A's are horrible no matter what kind it is. There is nothing but heartache caused by our WS poor decisions.

We do this because we see hope in our futures. We don't want to give up on something that can be so great. I also didn't want the few bad mistakes that my H made to dictate my future and all the good times we did have. I also wanted to be able to tell my 4 children I tried the best I could at staying married to their father.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm, really??
I know my H was having fun partying it up with a bunch of college kids, drinking, hooking up with chicks...

What do you mean? Not fun??

Hmmm, although now that you mention it, H "claims" he was miserable, I think he just felt guilty and figured since he did it once, he would just keep on doing it. Because you know, according to my H, "we were doomed."


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,alcoholic, M6yrs T13. DS 2 DS 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014. He's going to cheat again. But not on me.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
cali1002
♀ New Member
Member # 39270
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it weren't for my kids, I wouldn't be in R because he treated me so disrespectfully. I also think back to the time when we were happy together and why I love him and think that maybe giving R a shot will help us get back to being in love again. If our R doesn't work out, then I will know that our love for each other is truly over.


Me - BS 44
Him - WH 52
Kids - 11 and 12
DDay - May 2012
Married 14 years
In Reconciliation

Posts: 42 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You took the words right out of my mind. hurtz413

I don't know how they do it. I can hardly stand mine. It was only a 2month EA.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 923 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
so_lost
♀ Member
Member # 7726
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think he had fun. Try not to romanticize it. He probably feels dirty, disgusted with himself, and extremely guilty. If he doesn't feel this way now, he will soon.

My FWH feels all of these things about his 8 month affair (7 months EA, 1 month PA). He tells me, "At least you can still hold your head up high." Knowing he feels these things makes me feel compassion towards him and his actions. I'm close to forgiveness. It's taken me 8 years to get to this point:(


D-day April 2005, R.
Me-BS 37
Him-FWH 37, 8 month EA/PA with coworker. Married 2 yrs at the time.
2 kiddos after D-day, Married 11 years.


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2005
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, heck yeah, my FWH had fun. He still won't say he didn't enjoy the sex. He enjoyed the hell out of his fuckfests.

Now, is he disgusted by himself? Yes, he is. If you asked him if it was worth it, he would definitely say it wasn't worth it. But ask him if he enjoyed the sex, he will say "yes", because he has integrity. Now.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9423 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
mamak
♀ Member
Member # 35969
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I don't know how they do it. I can hardly stand mine. It was only a 2month EA.

WHs was a 3 month EA and I can't even wrap my head around how he enjoyed it. He says I romanticize it too much but all the love emails and phone calls, sneaky off to the Walmart parking lot to call her, was something he enjoyed because he kept doing it.....over and over....

I love him but sometimes I am disgusted with what he did.


Me - 37, Him - 34
Married - 12 years
Three kiddos (oldest is mine) - 9, 11,13
DDay #1 - 4/21/2012, Discovered 3 mo. EA (texts, phone calls, nude pics, sexting, 1 kiss)
R - 4/24/12. R going well

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jun 2012
Topic Posts: 11

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