Thank you for hearing me. I think that's all I needed - was for someone to validate it.
As for as giving myself some peace, I do have a girls' weekend coming up. It's going to be quiet, maybe some horseback riding, time to read, workout, etc. We'll be surrounded by other girlfriends, none of whom are bringing husbands or kids, so I think it will be a welcome solace from the place I'm in right now.
LLL - I think often about telling her husband. I feel a little guilty for NOT telling him because as a BS, I would want to know. But I haven't for two key reasons: 1. I'm 90% sure he would divorce her. I don't know many men who could bear the discovery that their WW cheated on them for the last 2.5 years of a 5 year marriage. They have no kids, no house, and he's incredibly successful - I'm pretty sure his ego wouldn't withstand it, and I don't want her to be able to blame me even a tiny bit for the end of her marriage. I also don't want her divorced - if she's on her own, she'll fight even harder for her "career."
The 2nd reason I haven't told is that I like holding this card. She's made some things difficult for WH at work since he's declared NC (except work stuff). Disclosure of her mess to her husband is something she obviously wants to avoid, and I feel like it gives me the silent upperhand. Once he knows, then I have nothing else, and I don't want her in a position to have nothing left to lose. If that makes any sense.
Thanks for listening. I probably need to find a way to voice this "stalled" feeling to WH and see what he says. Maybe he'll show me a new resume. Madhatters.
Me: FWW (STA 2002), now a BW.
Him: FWH (OW1: 2006-2007), now just WH (OW2: 2010-2013)
I will never stop trying... because when you find 'the one' you never give up. (Cal Weaver)