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Newest Member: hewaseverything (44947)

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User Topic: Did they use protection?
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you even ask? Does it really even matter? Were they drunk? Was it planned? I don't know which is worse...I guess it all is.
I mean the diseases they could have given us...It boggels my mind!


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
twodoves
♀ Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not usually. He had some form of unprotected with all of them.

I feel very thankful that I tested negative for everything


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand. I worried about the same thing. It is mind boggling. I was a single mom to a small child when he met me. He put me at risk...it was just super selfish behavior.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 522 | Registered: Apr 2009
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, mine never used any. I've been tested. I have no idea how I came back ok. My IC can't believe it. He has a friend that had 3 affairs in 10yrs and gave his BW an STD each time. How in the hell I made it out ok without an STD while my partner was having so much unprotected sex with so many needle using junky bar hopping whores.....NO IDEA! I'm one lucky woman.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
41andthankful
♀ Member
Member # 38650
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did ask but since I couldn't believe anything he said, his answer didn't matter. I went and got tested for everything. No protection just adds a whole other level of yuck to this already disgusting situation.

Posts: 242 | Registered: Mar 2013
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, they never used protection. WXH "doesn't like condoms".

He claimed OW couldn't have given him any diseases because she had only ever had sex with one other person before him (she was only 18).

The stupidity knows no bounds. I made him get tested for everything and show me the results, ON PAPER. Later, I made sure I got tested for everything, too. I was pregnant at the time of the A and I would have probably had to kill him if he had passed ANYTHING on to my baby.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2515 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fWW still claims they always used protection. The STD she gave me indicates otherwise.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5652 | Registered: Aug 2007
twodoves
♀ Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, if he gave me anything i don't think i could reconcile after that. Our unborn child would be dealing with the consequences of his actions


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope, not once did they use protection.
I don't think it EVER occurred to either of those two boneheads that they could possibly transmit an STD. I remember when I told the ex I was going to get tested for STDs, he looked at me like "now why would you go and do that?"
Dumbass


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I absolutely did ask because the potential for STD's and just in case my WW got pregnant.
Even if they did use protection I would still get tested for STD's because you just can't trust that your wayward is telling you the truth. Not to mention the lack of judgement and rationalization when it comes to A's is very very risky.

As an example, I asked my WW if she and OM used protection during the multiple rendezvous' they had. She said no because he had a vasectomy and he got tested a few years before and it was negative. She was OK with that even after finding out her OM had been cheating on my WW with another OW. The thrill is more important to them at the time then the consequences. Protect yourself.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine has a vasectomy, so he didn't see the problem, as he couldn't cause us any problems by getting an OW pregnant, and they weren't girls I knew, I wouldn't find out, so I wouldn't be hurt.

He NEVER considered he could've taken my life with his actions. To this day, the realization of that is something he can't really deal with. When he goes deep into his depression of the man he's been, that's definitely a factor.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope no protection. And the worst part about it was we had been using condoms for months and they were in a drawer about 30 feet away from them.

Why ruin a fantasy with reality?


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2586 | Registered: Aug 2012
whoismywife
♂ Member
Member # 37309
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW told me initially that they used protection. Then later she let it slip that she and the OM had "broken up" because he didn't want her to get pregnant. I said, "I thought you used condoms" and she said, "Not every time". That was some trickle truth that sent me over the edge. It was like DDay again. It was bad enough that another guy got to have sex with my wife, but he also got to have unprotected sex with her... it just gets worse and worse.


BH me, 32; WW her, 30; Daughter, 3 yrs old
Married 4 yrs; Together 9 yrs; Reconciling (Not Going Well)
D-Day 09/30/12; PA

Posts: 65 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Ontario, Canada
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. That's how my wife got pregnant by him. Luckily no STD's were transmitted, especially since she knew he was cheating on his wife with other women.

My wife is normally a very intelligent woman, so this still boggles my mind.


Posts: 7090 | Registered: Dec 2010
Althea
♀ Member
Member # 37765
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many waywards use protection? I really think that number has to be close to zero. Mine knew he was going to meet his AP at an empty apartment at night, he had every intention of sex, yet no thought of condoms. His AP's words of comfort to him, "you don't have to worry about getting me pregnant, I had my tubes tied."

My WH's justification for not being worried about passing an STD on to me is that they only had oral sex.

The selfishness is beyond comprehension.


Taking it one day at a time.

Posts: 457 | Registered: Dec 2012
sailorgirl
♀ Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never. She was on the pill and had only ever had sex with one other person (OW and her ex-fiancée were virgins when they met).

So, this 31 year old chaste, inexperienced woman is desperate to have sex with her married coworker and strips naked without ever going on a date or even making out first?

WH is absolutely sure that she couldn't possibly be lying about her sexual history

I have the doctor's appointment scheduled. It really bothers me that WH thinks it's uneccesary.


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..

Who uses protection for blowjobs!..????

..she didn't...ever!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4124 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doesn't matter. There is no such thing as safe sex outside of a monogamous relationship. My wife was adamant that they used protection every single time. I asked her if he had a condom on his dick when she sucked and she said no. So I told her to Google image search on oral STD's and look at the pictures. Besides, condoms apparently don't prevent the transmission of MRSA, which is what I got out of my wife's A. What kills me is she still would have been fucking him even though he gave her that nasty shit if I hadn't caught their affair. I always swore I'd give my right nut for her, but I always kinda meant that figuratively. I almost literally did.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3932 | Registered: Dec 2011
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course not!! After all, they were certain that their spouses weren't cheating so they were 1000% positive that there was no risk.

Never mind the fact that both of them had screwed other online cheats. I guess that part didn't count.

The rationalizations are simply mind-boggling.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1031 | Registered: Mar 2012
toomanyregrets
♂ Member
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They never used protection.
She'd had her tubes tied for medical reasons and he was maaried and wasn't screwing anyone else.


BH - 64
fWW - 60

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife


Posts: 467 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
Topic Posts: 76
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