Topic: Did they use protection?
Member # 37776
| Posted: 3:49 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013|
Well my WH's cheating was BJ's x 2 from a stripper/hooker the 1st time & next time a flat-out streetwalker:-(. He claims he never thought about protection because pregnancy wasn't a concern & oral sex was "safe". He was tipsy the first time & stone-cold sober for round two, his wayward incidents were YEARS apart and he confessed to both of them on Dday. When I insisted we both go for full panel STD testing, he thought it was unnecessary.Thankfully, our tests were normal & we are both in IC/MC and giving R our best shot:) Oral sex with WH is very much a work in progress, sorry if TMI, but need to re-claim that part of our intimate lives if we are ever going to be fully and totally R'd. Jamie
BS early 50's Wh also early 50's. I am Jamie, Mom to 3 great teens/young adults. My WH and I have been together more than half of our lives and married 25+. We are in MC & going to give R our best shot, hoping and praying for a better 2013!
Posts: 112 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: USA
Member # 38405
| Posted: 3:52 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013|
He did and it broke, then he went crying to his mother about it because he was afraid he got OW pregnant.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
Posts: 640 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Member # 38399
| Posted: 3:55 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013|
Dumbass says he always used condoms for sex but never for oral. He swears that he made sure the whores he fucked were clean I told him that condoms are not 100% effective to prevent STDS and he looked at me like I was nuts. Dumbass
Me BS: 42
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Posts: 139 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
Member # 22033
| Posted: 3:56 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013|
No, and she had a baby between the times that they weren't seeing each other.
I question if it's his kid.
BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).
Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Member # 35603
| Posted: 3:19 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
She claimed they did. When I got tested positive for HPV she remembered the condom broke...on a few occasions
Posts: 128 | Registered: May 2012
Member # 37756
| Posted: 3:52 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
He took our condoms to use with ow2 but lied to me initially and said she supplied the condoms. Which made me freak out because she was trying to get pregnant. So he tortured me with the whole condom thing for a couple of weeks before finding out he only used them once. Then I found out there was an OW1. She had a birth control implant so he felt totally safe without protection. Never mind the fact that her nickname at work is "cum dumpster".
And I was pregnant when he had sex with ow2 and he kept right on having sex with me and exposing our son to god only knows what.
Now I want to punch something. Wtf?? Ugh...
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
Posts: 585 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 36813
| Posted: 7:32 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
The first few times he said they did then she wanted to not use condoms so he told her he needed her to get an std test. So she did! They didn't use them after she came all clear. But he actually trusted that this drunken whore wasn't screwing anyone else but she said she would tell him if she did Also the last hook up they did because her H was him from deployment. I made him get tested, and I did as well because I was pregnant during the entire A
Posts: 278 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 30817
| Posted: 7:39 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
No.Never. Not once. "She's not like that", is what he said at the time.
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 35387
| Posted: 7:47 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
Nope, no protection. He had a vasectomy 3 years ago so he knew he couldn't get her pregnant. He also figured a women with 4 children (one was only 4 months old stuff the time of the affair)
They weren't drunk, and it was planned well in advance.
Makes me ill to think about it.
Married 9 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)
Posts: 465 | Registered: Apr 2012
Member # 36796
| Posted: 8:09 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
Who uses protection for blowjobs!..????
My fWW claims she did. Not sure if I really believe her though.
D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern
Posts: 489 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
Member # 30877
| Posted: 8:25 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
The first couple of times then no. He took her to the health department and she got tested. Ya, that really matters since she was arrested for prostitution.
D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed
Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
Member # 35971
| Posted: 10:09 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
The first time WH and MOW were drunk, used nothing and he came in her. He did not even know her last name.
From that first romp, he brought me home an infection (fever, abdominal pain, weird discharge) which he prescribed (he's an MD) the treatment for trich for, but proceeded to tell me it was yeast.
Did he get himself checked? Nope. Did he tell me he cheated? Nope.
He risked my life for 8 months.
He continued to have unprotected sex and oral sex with her, because she SAID she was clean. She had gotten checked the LAST time she cheated on her husband.
Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
Dday May 2012
Posts: 895 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 10552
| Posted: 10:15 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
He said he did. But who really knows?
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15413 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 27352
| Posted: 10:18 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013|
Nope, that would have meant he thought with his head that's attached to his shoulders.
He told me he "didn't think about it because they told him they never did this kind of thing before".
Funny thing is he told the same lie to the OW.
BW 44, SAWH 45(sorry1)
DD 23,16,13 DS 21, 19
Dday1-7/3/09 EA OW4
Dday2-9/1/09 PA OW4
Dday3 3/14/10 Farmville sexting, OW3
Dday4 3/13/11 Secret texting, would be OW5-she said no
Dday5 8/2/11 PA 10 years ago OW1, kissing 4 years ago OW2
Posts: 1123 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Pennsylvania
Member # 36671
| Posted: 4:24 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013|
4 STDs (first one when I was pregnant); one, maybe, two children with OW#? He never gave anything a second thought and when I confronted him last year with the latest STD, he lied and said that it was from 'athlete's foot'...
I've simply no idea what he keeps in his head. For someone who's so informed in every other sphere and very successful...? I just don't know anymore.
WS had two LTAs of 10 years and 12 years; further 8/9 affairs; EAs, 2 OC. Looks horrific but he is fully immersed in trying to find the 'broken.' It's on-going and painful. If there's a blue sky and sunshine, then it's a good day.
Posts: 168 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: UK
Member # 38924
| Posted: 9:53 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013|
Wow. I can't believe so many responses are the same. Guess we didn't cross their minds much...
Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.
Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Member # 34131
| Posted: 6:26 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013|
Nope, we never crossed their selfish minds. My wife even admitted that.
She claims she used condoms for the sex twice, but the numerous blow-jobs she gave we unprotected.
That tells me it wasn't about STD's, and more about her concern for pregnancy.
Truly a selfish bunch that we deal with.
Posts: 179 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 39001
| Posted: 6:43 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I had two STD's over the last ten years. When I confronted him he looked at me and said "you didn't get that from me". I thought it must have been something as a result of his chronic prostatitis. We have talked about it again since d-day & he still didn't believe that I got it from him because he always used a condom. The hookers he saw wouldn't go bare back.
BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell
Posts: 759 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 35526
| Posted: 11:40 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
Imagine a married man, after discovering HIS WIFE was having sex with another man, having to ask HIS WIFE if THEY were using condoms. It is so twisted and still difficult to get ones mind wrapped around.
She immediately said, "Yes, we did."
It was a lie. Nothing whatsoever was used. Ever. That would introduce reality into a selfish delusion that required the absence of reality in order to exist.
She started her delusion when our youngest son was three months old. She had her tubes tied after the delivery. I have no doubt whatsoever she would have become pregnant by the affair guy had she not been neutered. Any and all sex was performed - she had to do everything because it had to be the love of fucking legends, right? Not some delusional escape from deep low self-esteem, and validation issues, no. She had to make sure the fantasy was well-fed and the flattery would continue from a man in love with how weak-minded she was.
The notion that she could acquire HPV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, AIDS, crabs, etc. didn't enter her mind - at all.
[This message edited by keptmyword at 11:46 AM, June 1st (Saturday)]
I Divorced Her.
Posts: 363 | Registered: May 2012
Member # 32265
| Posted: 1:19 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
He was surprised I even asked that because" I did have a vasectomy so very."
Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
|Topic Posts: 76|