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User Topic: Did they use protection?
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not as far as I know they never did. After DDay#1 when he was underground with the A still he got a text that said she needed to talk to him about something. My first response was "I hope the hell she is pregnant with triplets and you spend the rest of your miserable life wiping shit off the little bastard's asses." All of our kids are grown. I sure wished God would have answered my prayers on that one!!! It would have served them both right. Sorry, BS's dealing with OC. But no, he said she had cancer (not). I got tested after DDay#2 for STD's. All negative so far.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. A normally intelligent man hooked up with at least five different women without protection. The last gem was juggling several men at once; he knew it and didn't care. He referred to her as his "plaything" not girlfriend. He continued to have unprotected sex with her after he knew he gave me HPV and that I had abnormal cells that could turn cancerous because of it. He didn't care enough about me to stop having sex with her after I took him back. That's one of the things that hurts the most.

There are STDs that can be contracted even if protection is used, herpes and HPV for example. I feel extremely fortunate that he did not bring home HIV. Most of his hookups were with random drunk desperate women at the bar's closing time who would go to a hotel with anyone. I'm quite sure he was not anyone's first hookup, including his married howorker.

Divorced and beginning my new life.

2 Ddays and lots of TT

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The claim is that they did, but the lies are spewing forth so much it's just white noise. So I get me tested and so far nothing.

I wonder about DD and have to learn about possibly transferring it to a child?

And they test the baby.

Perv was quite shocked when I had to bring it to his "attention", simply shocked it should even considered for his highness.

And he tried to say she was tested and it was negative, bla bla bla because that was said with what I now know, because of the clues he gives when he lies,it was "Lying Perv".

I'm sorry for everyone who has to go through this, too.

Some of my anger and anxt is how much of this drama and absolute crap we inherit not by any choice of our own. It's brought into our lives and the lives of our children through none of our own faults and is with us for many years and possible forever. Horrible.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ Member
Member # 32212
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course not. Her tubes were tied after all.

The fact that she "forgot" to mention she's infested with herpes *shocked* my idiot ex.

Hope he's having fun with that.

Me: 39
Ex: 47
D Day: 4/2010
Divorced: 7/2010

Posts: 306 | Registered: May 2011
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Xwh took OUR condoms and used them with the multiple OW. But it wasn't planned I then made him get a vasectomy so we didn't need them anymore and didn't that ruin his plans.

I still got an STI & STD check though, as he had proven more then once I couldn't believe anything out of his mouth.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 7:18 AM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked and WH’s reply was

“what for?”

He’d had a vasectomy and MOW had been sterilised, so there was no risk of pregnancy (not that there was much of one anyway as they were both 45 when they started their affair). Of course they assumed the other had no STDs and that they were being “faithful” to each other (oh, apart from having sex with their spouses too, gotta keep the pretence up) – after all, they were in love and this was their perfect world, so why spoil it with condoms? Using condoms would debase their relationship and bring it down to basic sex. Which it was.

D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

X claims they did. But not when they had oral sex. I assume he's lying because he refused to wear condoms with me, ever. And she was pregnant at the time their physical affair started. They wouldn't have used condoms as protection against std's because in their fantasy, they were both clean. So, really, why would they have needed condoms at all?

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ Member
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see "clean" said a lot by ws/Ap...

My wh initially said mow was clean.

He also within 15min. Said:

"We used condoms every time"

"Ok maybe just the first time"

"Ok no never used them. We both decided we were clean and i lied because I knew you would be mad sunflowergirl"

They had unprotected sex with each other, their spouses had oral sex with each other and their spouses. Nice.

Together 21yrs married 18yrs
2 kids, now 19 & 16
Bw: now 38
Wh: now 37
Mow: now 50
1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010

Posts: 1079 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, my dutiful wife put one on them herself, well except the one in the alley.

Isn't it just shit when hese things pop into your head? Eurgh.

BH-29 (me)

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.

Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
cannot forget
♀ Member
Member # 30759
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course not. She was trustworthy. Met her Ashley Madison site, but she was trustworthy! Makes me sick to even think about.

MOW49 2.5yr LTA
married 24yrs

Posts: 52 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Ct
♀ Member
Member # 36634
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: 44 BS
Married 12 yrs
True R: 12/2012
4kids(11, 8, 5, 4mos)+ 2 Step kids I love like my own

Posts: 313 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
♀ Member
Member # 7726
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'm the only one who's FWH used protection. What does that say? He was a responsible cheater?!

D-day April 2005, R.
Me-BS 37
Him-FWH 37, 8 month EA/PA with coworker. Married 2 yrs at the time.
2 kiddos after D-day, Married 11 years.

Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2005
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope Solost!

Mine did too! Only because the hookers insisted on it!

BTW...I still got an STD. Any time there is contact with body fluids STD are a real possibility.

BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 758 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39324
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No...because apparently women on AM are "classy"

Dday 5-10-13
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
Me- BW
Him- WH
M- 15 years
2 kiddos
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: hell on earth
♂ New Member
Member # 39406
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. He says he was high, though, so he doesn't "remember all the details."

He also assures me that his hookups were other nerds (sci-fi/fantasy conventions, mostly while I was doing other stuff that didn't include drug-addled hotel sex with strangers, like board-gaming), so there's NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, THESE FOLKS ARE CLEAN, YO.

Me: BH - Happily Remarried, but dealing with old stuff

“I'm losing my mind in a bedroom with a ghost
and I'm losing my mind in a bottle while I choke
I stayed years with you, no one knows (but I want them to).”
– Thought Industry

Posts: 44 | Registered: May 2013
♀ Member
Member # 19024
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked but my WH embellished the sexual part of the A so much that I never knew what to believe.. He did buy a box of condoms but only one was out of it & I found it (unused) when I was snooping in his van.

WH told me so many stories of the sex with OW but he also has severe ED so I think sex wasn't a big part of their relationship.. he told these stories to make himself look better..

Funny thing is, the sexual aspect of the A never really bothered me, it was more the things he told her about me that bugged me..

"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible

Posts: 4784 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
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