Topic: Did they use protection?
Member # 36654
| Posted: 1:45 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
Not as far as I know they never did. After DDay#1 when he was underground with the A still he got a text that said she needed to talk to him about something. My first response was "I hope the hell she is pregnant with triplets and you spend the rest of your miserable life wiping shit off the little bastard's asses." All of our kids are grown. I sure wished God would have answered my prayers on that one!!! It would have served them both right. Sorry, BS's dealing with OC. But no, he said she had cancer (not). I got tested after DDay#2 for STD's. All negative so far.
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.
Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 36599
| Posted: 7:28 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
Nope. A normally intelligent man hooked up with at least five different women without protection. The last gem was juggling several men at once; he knew it and didn't care. He referred to her as his "plaything" not girlfriend. He continued to have unprotected sex with her after he knew he gave me HPV and that I had abnormal cells that could turn cancerous because of it. He didn't care enough about me to stop having sex with her after I took him back. That's one of the things that hurts the most.
There are STDs that can be contracted even if protection is used, herpes and HPV for example. I feel extremely fortunate that he did not bring home HIV. Most of his hookups were with random drunk desperate women at the bar's closing time who would go to a hotel with anyone. I'm quite sure he was not anyone's first hookup, including his married howorker.
Divorced and beginning my new life.
2 Ddays and lots of TT
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 38378
| Posted: 7:35 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
The claim is that they did, but the lies are spewing forth so much it's just white noise. So I get me tested and so far nothing.
I wonder about DD and have to learn about possibly transferring it to a child?
And they test the baby.
Perv was quite shocked when I had to bring it to his "attention", simply shocked it should even considered for his highness.
And he tried to say she was tested and it was negative, bla bla bla because that was said with what I now know, because of the clues he gives when he lies,it was "Lying Perv".
I'm sorry for everyone who has to go through this, too.
Some of my anger and anxt is how much of this drama and absolute crap we inherit not by any choice of our own. It's brought into our lives and the lives of our children through none of our own faults and is with us for many years and possible forever. Horrible.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 32212
| Posted: 9:40 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
Of course not. Her tubes were tied after all.
The fact that she "forgot" to mention she's infested with herpes *shocked* my idiot ex.
Hope he's having fun with that.
D Day: 4/2010
Posts: 306 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 36445
| Posted: 11:21 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
Xwh took OUR condoms and used them with the multiple OW. But it wasn't planned I then made him get a vasectomy so we didn't need them anymore and didn't that ruin his plans.
I still got an STI & STD check though, as he had proven more then once I couldn't believe anything out of his mouth.
"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.
Posts: 1358 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 17062
| Posted: 7:18 AM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
I asked and WH’s reply was
He’d had a vasectomy and MOW had been sterilised, so there was no risk of pregnancy (not that there was much of one anyway as they were both 45 when they started their affair). Of course they assumed the other had no STDs and that they were being “faithful” to each other (oh, apart from having sex with their spouses too, gotta keep the pretence up) – after all, they were in love and this was their perfect world, so why spoil it with condoms? Using condoms would debase their relationship and bring it down to basic sex. Which it was.
D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.
Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Member # 32847
| Posted: 7:54 AM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
X claims they did. But not when they had oral sex. I assume he's lying because he refused to wear condoms with me, ever. And she was pregnant at the time their physical affair started. They wouldn't have used condoms as protection against std's because in their fantasy, they were both clean. So, really, why would they have needed condoms at all?
Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...
Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 28979
| Posted: 2:13 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
I see "clean" said a lot by ws/Ap...
My wh initially said mow was clean.
He also within 15min. Said:
"We used condoms every time"
"Ok maybe just the first time"
"Ok no never used them. We both decided we were clean and i lied because I knew you would be mad sunflowergirl"
They had unprotected sex with each other, their spouses had oral sex with each other and their spouses. Nice.
Together 21yrs married 18yrs
2 kids, now 19 & 16
Bw: now 38
Wh: now 37
Mow: now 50
1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010
Posts: 1079 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
Member # 38934
| Posted: 7:24 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
Yes, my dutiful wife put one on them herself, well except the one in the alley.
Isn't it just shit when hese things pop into your head? Eurgh.
Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
Member # 30759
| Posted: 7:31 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
Of course not. She was trustworthy. Met her Ashley Madison site, but she was trustworthy! Makes me sick to even think about.
MOW49 2.5yr LTA
Posts: 52 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Ct
Member # 36634
| Posted: 7:38 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
Me: 44 BS
Married 12 yrs
True R: 12/2012
4kids(11, 8, 5, 4mos)+ 2 Step kids I love like my own
Posts: 313 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
Member # 7726
| Posted: 7:44 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
I think I'm the only one who's FWH used protection. What does that say? He was a responsible cheater?!
D-day April 2005, R.
Him-FWH 37, 8 month EA/PA with coworker. Married 2 yrs at the time.
2 kiddos after D-day, Married 11 years.
Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2005
Member # 39001
| Posted: 8:01 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
Mine did too! Only because the hookers insisted on it!
BTW...I still got an STD. Any time there is contact with body fluids STD are a real possibility.
BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell
Posts: 758 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 39324
| Posted: 8:05 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
No...because apparently women on AM are "classy"
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
M- 15 years
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.
"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"
Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: hell on earth
♂ New Member
Member # 39406
| Posted: 11:08 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
Nope. He says he was high, though, so he doesn't "remember all the details."
He also assures me that his hookups were other nerds (sci-fi/fantasy conventions, mostly while I was doing other stuff that didn't include drug-addled hotel sex with strangers, like board-gaming), so there's NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, THESE FOLKS ARE CLEAN, YO.
Me: BH - Happily Remarried, but dealing with old stuff
“I'm losing my mind in a bedroom with a ghost
and I'm losing my mind in a bottle while I choke
I stayed years with you, no one knows (but I want them to).”
– Thought Industry
Posts: 44 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 19024
| Posted: 11:51 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
I asked but my WH embellished the sexual part of the A so much that I never knew what to believe.. He did buy a box of condoms but only one was out of it & I found it (unused) when I was snooping in his van.
WH told me so many stories of the sex with OW but he also has severe ED so I think sex wasn't a big part of their relationship.. he told these stories to make himself look better..
Funny thing is, the sexual aspect of the A never really bothered me, it was more the things he told her about me that bugged me..
"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible
Posts: 4784 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
|Topic Posts: 76|