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Newest Member: Tryin2staykewl (45320)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He's not broken
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS13 is horrible to DS10. He's not physical with him, but just constantly picking apart everything that DS10 says or does. It has been a problem for a couple years and I don't tolerate it. I punish DS13, but it has turned into a circle of DS13 doing something to DS10, me punishing DS13, DS13 getting mad and doing another something to DS10. I've tried appealing to DS13's compassion, etc...

Last night I complained to EX after DS13 told DS10's news to EX over the phone. DS10 was screaming, "please don't tell him, it's my news to tell"...DS13 did it intentionally to hurt DS10 and take away his thunder.

So I told EX that DS13 is breaking DS10. EX says that he was tortured physically and mentally by his older half-brothers and that he felt worthless growing up and although he wants nothing to do with those brothers still, as adults, it didn't break him.

I asked "why do you think it didn't break you?"

He then says maybe it did, maybe that is why he doesn't like to be around people and he doesn't want that to happen to DS10.

Nothing about that he was able to be so mean and cruel and heartless to me. Not just having an A, but the gaslighting, lying and torturing my emotional health...which also lead to his kids coming from a broken home, and maybe a part of the reason we're having sibling rivalry issues with them.

No, apparently he didn't break.

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 12:25 PM, May 24th (Friday)]


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope he's not broken. And he's also not responsible for any of the problems that have resulted directly and indirectly from his affair. Nope. Never.

Ugh, they'll never change or grow because they CAN NOT bear to look at themselves long enough to see who they are or what they've done to anyone else. It's pitiful.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe his FOO didn't break him; maybe he was a sociopath all along...

Bet he would have loved hearing that!


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20273 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His parents allowed this behaviour to happen and continue. I feel like I'm the only one dealing with DS13's bad attitude toward his brother, because EX thinks it's normal for boys to act this way.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Topic Posts: 4

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