SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So, I just finished talking to a college friend. We both went to school at a very small college, and STBX went there as well.

When we were talking, I told him that I was divorced, and I said, "You know, we went to school with him."

My friend had NO idea who he was. He said, "I thought you married the doctor! The guy who was pre-med when we were there!"

I said, no, he was my previous BF, and we broke up. I tried describing STBX, but he didn't ring a bell with my friend.

I think that says a lot about who STBX is vs. who I am. While I wouldn't say that I'm a wildly popular person, I was involved in lots of things on campus and got to know many people. STBX could never believe how many people I knew (which would be a normal amount to any of you-- STBX literally had like ten friends at school).

That was helpful to me. I keep making STBX out to be better and happier in my mind after the recent engagement news, when in reality, he's not even on most people's radar. I need to get him off of my radar other than kids and finances as well. I need to remember how small he is and how little he truly has in his life.

Yes. You do tend to get a new perspective once you get away from their constant drama. I remember the feeling after finally filing for D from XWH#1. I knew I would be OK, but I knew he would always be messed up.

I need to get him off of my radar other than kids and finances as well. I need to remember how small he is and how little he truly has in his life.

LOVE.THIS.PART.

Isn't it amazing when we can "see" so much more clearly?

trying, this is really interesting to me! Throughout my M, I became more and more isolated. In high school and college, I always had a core group of friends. But by the time the D was final, I had no friends. Ex-shat had one friend he hung out with. He never had friends and I let him drag me down into a very unhappy isolation.

This morning I ran a race and bumped into 4 people I knew and had a nice time talking to them. That would not have been possible if I was still married to ex-shat.

I tend to think ex-shat is out living the life...but you know what? I don't think he's on many people's radar either.

Thanks for the new perspective.

I remember my mother commenting about how many people were on my side of the church for our wedding versus his side - which was minimal. I didn't connect until post DDay how relevant that was. (Especially considering what a "social" person he seems to be)

[This message edited by persevere at 10:14 PM, May 25th (Saturday)]