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Divorce/Separation :
Odd from the future X In-laws

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 Linus1968 (original poster member #31243) posted at 9:20 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

So, today, I received a birthday card from my future X in-laws. I did not get a card from them the last 3 years. There was a note from them wishing me a happy birthday and "Thank you for all that you do for DS and DD. You are a great dad. Love, Gramma and Grandpa."

I am not really sure if this is weird or not. I belong to the same church as them, so I see them every week. But, as I said, this is the first card I received from them since the divorce call (my 4th birthday). Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the compliment. They don't support what she has done, but the OM is involved with them, because it is their daughter. Anyway, enough said...

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6349556
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 10:36 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

It's nice they appreciate you. I wouldn't read into it much more than that, tempting as that is.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6349607
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 Linus1968 (original poster member #31243) posted at 10:57 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

Persevere,

I'm not reading much into it. Not worth the time. I have invested enough time to figuring this whole thing out. It was just one of those "Um, ok..." moments. In the past 3 years interacting in church, I can tell they are just disgusted with what has happened.

Anyway...at least they could have given me an iTunes gift card if they REALLY appreciated me...

By the way, that is totally a joke. Seriously, a joke. ...sort of...

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6349621
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 1:53 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013

I think the action in itself speaks volumes about their positive opinion of you, though yeah, a check would speak louder...lol.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6349727
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:09 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013

Happy Birthday Linus...

It's nice that they took the time to acknowledge your day.

Hugs,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6349789
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fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 4:39 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013

My in-laws have been very kind and supportive. It looks like yours want to let you know they care about you and appreciate you. As I tell my children, the more people who care about you the better.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

posts: 468   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2012
id 6349853
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CallMeRed1 ( member #36870) posted at 11:25 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013

You're lucky they think enough of you to do that.

My first birthday after D-Day I didn't get a card from my x in laws (who I have known for 14 years and I have always sent THEM cards for absolutely every occasion - which they of course think their son sent).

Obviously it's my fault that their beloved son cheated on me and that I didn't forgive him.

I wonder where he gets his blameshifting traits from

Anyway... at least they appreciate you.

Hope you had a great birthday.

D-Day mid 2012
I was the BS
Status: Divorced early 2013

posts: 442   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2012   ·   location: England
id 6349956
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 Linus1968 (original poster member #31243) posted at 3:05 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I know, I know...I need to stop. I should have been a CSI agent of some sort. I have always been the type to make sense of things. Every aspect of my life.

My WW asked me to watch the kids Sept 5 (her day and her birthday month). She usually goes on a cruise during that time. She will leave Thursday and come back on Sunday. The usually routine.

Well, what got me thinking was what is going to happen with the OC? A friend of mine who is FB friends with both of us, said her and the OM go out of town, A LOT. Pictures, check-ins. The whole weekend filled with them. She said at least every other month, sometimes once a month. (I had to tell her no more WW sightings. They piss me off. Why do people feel they need to tell me? But I digress, again). I have her first two kids...the 3rd child, I assume goes with WW mom's or the OM's mom.

I guess what I am saying is it brought me back to the birthday card from the in-laws (remember, 1st in 4 years). I think they are seeing what WW is doing with the OC, and might realize how much time I HAD to put in to cover her lifestyle when we were together.

I know, I will slap myself with a 2X4...SMACK!!! %#@&$% Ok, I will stop.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6353201
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 3:08 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I get random mail from my xFIL still. He will send the odd letter with family photos and updates on everyone. I have been D for almost 8 years.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6353208
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 Linus1968 (original poster member #31243) posted at 3:09 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

By the way, it was a good birthday. I did not see my kids (long story. Idiot WW). Went to a friends house, had a great time. Actually, there were 4 birthdays celebrated. It was as good as it gets without my children.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6353209
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 Linus1968 (original poster member #31243) posted at 3:41 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Kitty,

Why? I don't know if you are re-married or if the WXH is, but why would they want you to be informed? Maybe for the kids you might of had? To me, that is weird. Address the envelope it to the children, and let them read it.

It is funny, whenever I think the weirdness has leveled off, this soon-2-B-over situation gives me one more thing to CSI to death.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6353266
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 3:43 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Nope, no kids. I was with my XH for 10 years, married for 6. I was part of the family. I think sometimes xFIL just misses me or something. He never mentions XH in his letters. Just sends photos from up at the cabin, or of new babies that would have been my neices/nephews. I adored my inlaws, so even though it kinda stings to get those letters I think it's sweet.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6353270
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