This Topic is Archived
256shute (original poster new member #39308) posted at 12:19 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
I have been thinking a lot about my H, how he acts and treats me, and the newly discovered possibility that he is a lying, cheating POS. A lot of his behavior is classic PA and NPD. Then I started wondering why I was wasting my time trying to figure out what his issues are and put labels on them. Maybe he's just an asshole and that's that and any effort that I may make to improve our relationship is just a waste of time. Does anyone else feel the same way about the person causing them pain?
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 1:45 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
I am a freaking idiot when it comes to posting images here. But please go here:
http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=496896&AP=1&HL=
Scroll about halfway down the first page to Kajem's 'toxic people' post.....
Just as an aside that I'm sure you realize....it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. If he isn't putting in the necessary effort, then you are fighting a soul-killing battle.....
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 2:04 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
Hi Shute,
Yep, I feel very similar to what you are describing.
Only for me, learning these personality traits and conditions helps me. The research gives me something to do and steers my thinking away from the actual A...and oftentimes having these labels has helped me find answers for ways to communicate and reply.
Yes, GB2016 is right, but to elaborate, these personality traits and labels have helped in my part of the "relationship". Although it takes a lot of mental strain, sometimes drama can be saved by doing a little research and learning the "labels".
I also think the labels are reasons they may choose to act one way or another when they make a decision and that helps me. For example, FWIW, Perv and I faced with the same choice or decision probably would not come to the same conclusion because he is PA/NPD and I'm not. Prior to my knowledge of this part of him, it would just be an argument and possibly escelate. As I learned more, I could choose how to react.
I'm vocal and want to deal with things and have them done.
Sorry for the ramble and talking about my situation, but if you can't improve the relationship you have, at least you could improve what contact you have to have so it can just go by.
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
256shute (original poster new member #39308) posted at 5:10 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Thanks for the feedback. You're both right. I'm just so hurt and upset that I don't know what to do. 
HereWeGo62 ( member #34766) posted at 6:08 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2013
Here is the pic that gonnabe2016 was refering to:
If there is reincarnation I hope OM comes back as a low water flush truck stop toilet!
This Topic is Archived
