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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I did it- I told my family I'm pregnant...
thebirdcage
♀ New Member
Member # 39274
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And it didn't go well. Although I got some support from my dad, my mom was furious and said some really hurtful things like:
" well now we all have to hold our breaths to see if this baby is gonna make it...You probably wanted to get pregnant, no one gets pregnant on accident... He probably got you pregnant on purpose .... How could you be so foolish.... He's selfish and if he really loved you he wouldn't have had sex with you... If he really wanted a family he wouldn't have cheated he doesn't want a family.... You and him are completely reckless"
My brothers said nothing to me, which was also hurtful. My father said "well not the best timing but your smart and I know you will be ok"

I spent the weekend away from my moms house because I didn't want to be around the negativity and my SO has to help with my daily injections due to me bein high risk. It's been hard having the rejection from my family. I feel like I disappointed the people I love most. I don't know what to do.


Posts: 30 | Registered: May 2013
broken81
♀ Member
Member # 36774
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was aweful what they said. they probably are just scared for you and will come around.
Dont let this get you down just think of that little baby and smile. Not ideal timing or circumstances do not change that its a gift.
I totally understand everything you are going through.
I just found out that i am pregnant. It was totally a surprise since we dealt with infertility for 6 years and finally had another through infertility treatments. So this pregnancy is a shock, scary and an amazing miracle all in one. My last pregnancy was high risk, i almost died and had to live in the hospital. My family has been very vocal about i shouldnt have another. My own grandmother told me i would be selfish and reckless and leave my other children motherless.
When i told my mother i was pregnant by surprise she told me not to change my travel plans because i dont know what will happen and i will probably still be able to go...meaning i will miscarry. She called me the next day and apologized and said she is scared and doesnt want me to be hurt again.
I cant dwell on all the negativity, i have to stay positive and take care of both of us. Its hard but you have to do the same as well.


Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R

Posts: 232 | Registered: Sep 2012
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no one gets pregnant on accident..
Totally insensitive and not true. We were using birth control and still got pregnant. It happens. So sorry that your family was less than supportive. They maybe in shock and will, hopefully, come around in time and be happy and excited for you. (((thebirdcage)))

Congratulations!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8984 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Angel177
♀ Member
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awful!! A baby is always a blessing and should always be treated as such. I had a miscarriage with my first as well and am about to deliever my second baby any day and he along with my daughter are both healthy so just because you lost one doesn't mean you will lose this one. (Hugs) for you!!!!


Me:BS
Him:WH
D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
2 kids...3 and 1
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"...she also happened to be married to WH's best friend.

Posts: 201 | Registered: Oct 2012
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Sister said. My two boys are proof that accidental pregnancies can happen. I am so sorry that your family is being so unsupportive when you need them most. A baby is a blessing, even when the timing is not ideal. My heart hurts for you that your family cannot see that and see that you are already experiencing enough pain. Big hugs and lots of prayers your way.

Posts: 882 | Registered: Jan 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations, when are you due? A baby is a blessing.

I got pregnant twice while on birth control. The first time was with twins.

Singe DD20 got pregnant on BC also, she dreaded telling me. Granddaughter just turned one. I don't know what my life would be like without her in it. She is a blessing.

I'll say prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy for you both.

Hugs,
k


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4031 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
avicarswife
♀ Member
Member # 35799
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations - babies are wonderful - I so hope everything progresses well.

I am really sorry your family are not supportive. I guess they may worried for you and opened their mouths without due thought.

Hopefully when they get past themselves they will see this baby as a blessing.

Hang in there!


BS: 47 (me)
WH: 51
Married 26 yrs, 3 kids (16-24)
D-Days 2012: 21 - 23 May + TT
D-Day 2013: 12 Apr OW#3
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 months 2010
OW #3 PA single time 2010
Status: Maybe 'R'

Posts: 705 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: "down-under"
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You don't EVER have to explain your life choices to anyone.

I'm sorry that your family can't support you in the way you need them to.

You hold your head high and follow your heart - it's going to be ok.

(((thebirdcage)))


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14716 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
thebirdcage
♀ New Member
Member # 39274
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know the timing is bad- I feel the same way. We lost out son who was still born in march 2013 and DDay was in April 2, 2013--- so it has all happened very fast and I understand my families concern and know they are just worried and being protective. I have a disorder that they discovered after we lost our son and am now considered high risk and will have a very stressful pregnancy even if everything else was perfect (which it is far from) But sometimes I wish they would think if they are scared imagine how much more scared I am and I need them. It's been extremely hard, especially because I feel so close to them. My family is my world.

Posts: 30 | Registered: May 2013
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((thebirdcage))) I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Your emotions have got to be all over the place. I can't even imagine the emotional turmoil you must be in. Honey, take care of yourself. Be good to yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Please come here, we will give you all the virtual hugs you need. Wish it could be more.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8984 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 1:24 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweetie, don't worry about your family. They will come around. It sounds like they are just very concerned for you right now and with everything going on recently I can understand their concern for you and the baby. They love you and don't want to see you hurt anymore. Please don't take what they said as negative, even though that is the way they said it. In no time at all they will be excited that you are pregnant. Just give them a little time to adjust and process it. You just worry about taking care of you and that baby. They will take care of temselves. (((HUGS and Congrats)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had the EXACT same reaction and funnily enough my Dad and FIL were the most chilled out.

My Mum went crazy- calling us both idiots- saying my wife did it on purpose blah blah blah...

I say bollocks to it- we're having a brand new tiny baby!!!

Congratulations!!!


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Alea iacta est...


Posts: 555 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry for your parents reaction, but in a way I can understand where they are coming from. What you said in a previous post:

Your boyfriend knocked up another woman while you were pregnant. She had an abortion. And most importantly

You live with them. It is not exactly every parents dream that their daughter, who is back at home, gets pregnant by her cheating boyfriend.

Not saying that the things they said were right, but in the context of things I can understand their frustration.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 12:40 PM, May 27th (Monday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1102 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Topic Posts: 13

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