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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: No big deal or is it?
housenotahome
♀ Member
Member # 32423
Question  Posted: 9:49 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H and I love to sing, him more than me, but that's how we bonded in the beginning of our courtship. We would go to open mikes, karaoke, etc. After dday it stopped, at least publicly or we did it separately at home. While on vacation last week, we hit an Irish pub for dinner and there it was...karaoke. He was thrilled and I was reluctant but we did it and it was ok.
In the past, I used to watch all the girls scream and hang on his ankles and it never bothered me, in fact I used to laugh about it, and then dday happened. At the end of the night, a group of women stumbled in as my H was belting his best "Dead or Alive" and all I can think was "Oh goodie". As these women were admiring the talented good looking man on the stage who is my H, I am just waiting for it to be over. As he gets off the stage, with the room roaring with girly applause, 1 of the women offers her hand in high five. Is he or isn't he going to high five her? With hesitation, he does and in front of me. At least it wasn't done in secret right? Even the look on his face was like oh boy. I wasn't terribly upset that night and didn't mention it until our vaca was over. I know logically, it was no big deal and I hate that something this small can irk me. The fact is, is that he is more afraid of hurting a stranger's feelings than mine. He could've kept walking. That was his last song and we were going to leave so this person could perceive him as rude but it wouldn't matter because they'll never see each other again. I hate these new shoes I have wear!


Me BS
Him WS
Married 10 years together 14
DDay Mar.2011
Mistake-Going through a stop sign because you didn't see it.
Poor choice-You saw the stop sign and went through it anyway.

Posts: 772 | Registered: Jun 2011
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, sucks big time when IT encrouches on your formerly bonding time. Maybe you need to make a pact that every time he (or you) gets off of stage, the protocol is to immediatly head back to the partner and give them a big hug or kiss. Anyone who approaches can be told, thank you, but I'm heading over to my W for a kiss right now!

A little sidebar, my FWH told me that at the end of the night, some strange woman sent over a drink to his friend T, and then came up to introduce herself. T thanked her for the drink, she indicated that she wanted to "get closer" to him, and he said sorry no, I'm married. At which point she told him she didn't care. They left the bar to get away from her.

I asked him why T didn't tell her to leave him alone. FWH said that he thought that T was just "trying to be polite." I looked him dead in the eye and said "You do not have to be polite to a woman trying to fuck a married man. You need to tell them to get the hell away from you. T shouldn't have even accepted the drink he should have sent it back. And that's what I expect from you, should you find yourself in that situation." And IMHO, that IS the only acceptable response. It is never rude to proctect your married life.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4926 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
housenotahome
♀ Member
Member # 32423
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Skan. Great suggestions.


Me BS
Him WS
Married 10 years together 14
DDay Mar.2011
Mistake-Going through a stop sign because you didn't see it.
Poor choice-You saw the stop sign and went through it anyway.

Posts: 772 | Registered: Jun 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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