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Newest Member: Hurtlostempty (45065)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 1 year ago this weekend
shortee126
♀ Member
Member # 35803
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This weekend has been very difficult for me. One year ago this weekend my H left me and our girls. Even though we are working R it has been a very difficult weekend. I have felt like isolating and being alone all weekend. I did not do this and forced myself to interact with my family. I have been emotional, moody, and difficult to deal with. I have been doing my best to not talk about it. H has not said anything to me either. He did stop me in the middle of the room yesterday and I completely lost it in front of him and our kids. I just hate all of the triggers and memories. I feel like I should be grateful that we are working hard but I am angry with all of the hurt I still feel. H has been very patient and understanding, he is working really hard but I am still angry and hurt.


BS- 35
WS-34
married 11 years together 17
DD- 5/27/12
He walked out on me and the girls 5/26/12
Recovery started 9/15/12

Hoping for Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom!!!!


Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: New York
Keepcalm
♀ Member
Member # 36234
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Shortee126))) Sorry you and your children are going through this. I have no words of wisdom, but some will be along soon. Just know I understand your pain. It helps me to concentrate on my kids.


BS Me 57
WS Him 55
Married 30 yrs
DDay 1/28/2012
I have no idea what is going on

Posts: 170 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Virginia
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been doing my best to not talk about it. H has not said anything to me either.

shortee, why are you not talking about it?

The first "antiversary" is a tough one. On one hand we dread its coming and on the other, we need it to be acknowledged. The way you have been feeling is perfectly natural and I think it is important to talk about it.

The first year is such a horrible crazy time. When we look back, so much has happened but we don't feel all that much better about the twist our lives have taken. We have just learned to live with it a bit better.

One year after dday is a good time to take stock. To look back and see how far we have come but also to realize that we are just beginning the journey.

Of course you are still angry and hurt.
If anyone thinks that a year will make a huge difference, I would say they are wrong.

Don't hide these feelings from your WS. It sounds like you need to talk about it. He may need to as well.

[This message edited by FightingBack at 11:03 PM, May 27th (Monday)]


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 774 | Registered: Feb 2012
HereWeGo62
♂ Member
Member # 34766
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((shortee126)))

I read your profile story and my heart really hurts for you. Although it has been a year since he left it has really only been about 8m since the A ended and your WH came home. You are most likely right in the middle of the anger stage, the shock has finally worn off. I spent from month six to month 14 very angry and moody. It is a normal part of the healing. Try to stay calm in front of the kids though, just pull his butt into another room and let him know what you are angry about.

I feel like I should be grateful that we are working hard but I am angry with all of the hurt I still feel.

Actually he should be the one that is grateful. He should be thankful and grateful every day for the rest of his natural and spiritual life that you have extended him a second chance.


If there is reincarnation I hope OM comes back as a low water flush truck stop toilet!

Posts: 306 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Tx
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep talking. Talk to him, talk to a great friend, talk in IC or MC. Just, talk.

((shortee126))


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2311 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 5

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