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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Good update - sorry got really long
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forgive my rambling . . .

We've been so busy lately.

Our house is under contract, scheduled to close June 14. We are taking vacation next week (already scheduled before the offer) and spent this weekend packing and looking at cars. My parents kept our daughter for three nights.

My parents keep DD a lot (they BEG to have her over, they love it), but this time it was kind of different - usually we are doing something for his business (like going to a trade show) or having a date night. This time it was like it was before we were parents. I don't mean that in a bad way - I LOVE being a mom and I know he loves being a dad. But it was three days of working together intensely - no distractions like movies or alcohol or working. Just spending time together.

While we were packing, I found a bunch of old pictures from college. In the past H has made comments about me keeping these old pics with my ex in them, and I blew him off. This time, I was kind of taken aback at all these pictures I kept. And I know especially the first few years we were married, I did keep my ex in my mind as kind of this fall-back mental . . . I don't know how to explain it. Like this idealized relationship (even though I broke up with him). I thought about how hurt I would be if my H had kept so many pictures of his ex. At first I didn't want to throw those pics away (especially my prom pics) because I dated him for so long, he's in a majority of my pictures from that time period, but when I thought about how I'd feel if the tables were turned, it was quite easy to throw them out and I felt great about it.

Right before D-Day 2, my H had purchased a new red corvette (talk about stereotypes). He steamrolled me to get it (literally called me up at work, said he found one he liked at a dealership in Atlanta and was going to fly down there with his AmEx points and go buy it, ok, see you later! while I'm sitting at my desk sputtering) and he actually texted pics of it to the woman I busted him asking out last June. He's offered to sell it because he knows it upsets me for multiple reasons, but I never wanted to "make" him do it. So on Friday, he listed it on Craigslist. Then Sunday and again yesterday, he took me to look at vehicles with 3rd row seats. He wants to sell his corvette and trade in my hail-damaged SUV to get a new car for me that will be big enough to accommodate us and a new baby (eventually). You know, a family car. Not a sporty two-seater. And he wants to get rid of his high corvette payment and use that money instead toward things for our house.

I am so glad that his priority and focus is on our family now.

We were eating yesterday and gossiping about someone I used to work with. She's on her 3rd marriage and had affairs with two different married men while I knew her. He said, "I'm so glad things are ok between us now." I said, "What made you think of that?" He said, "All that drama with [ex-coworker] and how crazy her life is. I appreciate my nice, sane wife and the good life we have."

This is not where I thought I'd be now. I'm so glad to be wrong.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6835 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy for you.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5094 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy for you.

Thank you!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6835 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
cdnmommy
♀ Member
Member # 30182
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jana, I am very happy to read this!


Me: BW
DDay: Oct 2010 + 6 weeks false R
2.5 (+?) year A with married coworker/my "friend"
1 great kid.
Reconciling and healing

Posts: 1752 | Registered: Nov 2010
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy that your H is now content. That he "gets it". That he is the man you thought you married.

I am kind of sad that you threw away your photos. Although, if you were hanging onto them for the "wrong" reasons, I guess I understand. But, that was part of your life, your history, and I don't feel there is anything wrong with that. Unless, of course, you were looking at the photos constantly and mooning over the ex-boyfriend. I know I don't look at my photos from when I was young and before FWH very often. Maybe every few years or so. I am glad that I have them. It does bring back good memories and happy times. Nothing wrong with that.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9852 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was able to keep a couple of pics from prom that were just with my friends, and a few from college. I'm ok with throwing them away. I felt like it was the right thing to do given the circumstances.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6835 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37480 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5696 | Registered: Aug 2007
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 3423 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Almost12Years
♀ Member
Member # 34861
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GREAT update


Me - BW (38). Him - FWS (35)
College sweethearts
M - 13 years; together 16
DD (9) and DS (7)
Blindsided by confession on 2/17/12
6+ mo. EA/2x PA

Putting the pieces back together, day by day. Hardest thing I've ever done.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Feb 2012
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So happy for you!


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 388 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awesome! You've both come so far.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2816 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very happy for you! It sounds like you have a very good path that you both are walking down.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great!


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6581 | Registered: Jan 2011
girlsbird
♀ Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome update!

Posts: 36055 | Registered: Mar 2011
JennasMom
♀ Member
Member # 35744
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jana, so happy for this update!!!


Me: fWW/BW, 29, EA
Him: WH, 30 (whatnow999), Multiple PAs
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
Kids: DD, 4 and DS, 6 Wks

Posts: 151 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Midwest
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well hey there JennasMom! Good to "see" you - from your siggy looks like congratulations are in order! I hope all is going well with you and that you are getting at least a little bit of sleep!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6835 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 19

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