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Newest Member: Chenilleeee (43132)

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User Topic: Principles of Committed Relationship
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just curious. I know infidelity is the focus of our site and so many of us have very common principles surrounding infidelity - namely, that we oppose it.

Outside of "no infidelity", what are some other principles you value in your relationship? What are things you're learning that are new, what things are you especially proud of, and what do you value? Or, if you're not in a relationship, what things would you want for your next one, for a healthy one?


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Posts: 3761 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Financial stability. Moderation. Responsibility. The ability to communicate well. Respect. Equality.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honesty, emotional openness and respect.


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 656 | Registered: Feb 2012
joeboo
♂ Member
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think there would be incredible value in mutual trust. It almost seems superficial. Just the thought of it seems so emotionally peaceful.

Posts: 1208 | Registered: Feb 2011
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Respect, warmth, and equality. God damn it, I need those things!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 10 and 13
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1343 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Respect, loyalty, honesty, intimacy.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7076 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been reading on a website called marriagebuilders

It has a lot of good stuff.


Posts: 225 | Registered: Dec 2012
scangel3
♀ Member
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The things I am not getting from my WH

which are:
honesty, respect, good communication, and patience and
understanding.

ETA: Basically a heart, and to show the person they are with that they mean something to them, and they are a priority in their life, not just second best

[This message edited by scangel3 at 7:15 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 706 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Brokenpetal
♀ New Member
Member # 39230
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Respect, consideration (as in treat your spouse better than anyone else you know) and never , ever, belittle them. Not even in jest.

* my WH used to call me "dummy" early on (yes, red flag) he always said I was way too book smart and had no common sense. I guess that factored Into trusting him.... Well, honey, my common sense/street smarts has come a long way....


Posts: 38 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Conflicted1
♀ Member
Member # 39019
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Companionship, loving words and actions, gentle honesty (as opposed to brutal), open and honest communications, laughs and good sex of course.


Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45
Topic Posts: 10

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