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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Narrative
melhav
♀ New Member
Member # 37596
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can anyone tell me what information to include in a Narrative? What is the best way to write one without causing further damage.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Nov 2012
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A narrative as in a timeline? or just a summary of the A? or the lead-up to the A?

I think it is very easy for narratives to get off track and for blame-shifting to enter.

Something that a counselor told my BW and I was to not editorialize. Just state the facts, not your opinions. Does that make any sense?


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
hatefulnow
♂ Member
Member # 35603
Default  Posted: 2:15 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your affair caused the damage. Be truthful and factual. The damage is already done, he just doesn't know how much. The only way you can make things worse is by failing to be honest.

Posts: 128 | Registered: May 2012
hatefulnow
♂ Member
Member # 35603
Default  Posted: 2:17 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck.

Posts: 128 | Registered: May 2012
melhav
♀ New Member
Member # 37596
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the replies. BaxtersBFF: what is editorialize? It doesn't make sense to me.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Nov 2012
hardlessons
♂ Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

melhav, who is asking for a narrative? This implies some level of story building which you should avoid at all costs.

If your BS is asking for WTF happened the last XX time frame then you give him a timeline of facts starting from first contact to last and include whatever detail he is requesting. Make sense?

[This message edited by hardlessons at 12:21 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By editorialize I mean the tendancy to try to explain what your interpretation of something is.

I think it might be easiest to say that editorializing is a form of blameshifting. Another way to look at it is to realize when you should shut your mouth. Do you ever have someone ask you a yes or no question and you are still answering 5 minutes later? I guess I'm saying that you should provide what your BW needs but realize that sometimes answers should be short and concise.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
hatefulnow
♂ Member
Member # 35603
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stick to the facts. No need to embellish. I had my wife do this. I asked her about who, what, when, where & how. I asked her about planning. What steps she took to see OM &get me out me out of the way. Some of her friends were involved and alibied her. Those friends are gone. If you had help in your affair--- an alibi, friend letting you use their place, etc, that friend will be a trigger so they may have to go.

The most important thing is honesty and completeness. Ask Shawn how much detail he wants and give it to him, even though it will hurt. Omissions are like ticking time bombs at this stage. You never know when or where they will go off, but they make quite a mess.


Posts: 128 | Registered: May 2012
Topic Posts: 8

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