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She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 5:51 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 10:21 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
There are just as many douchey guys who are unattractive. For years I purposely took physical attraction OFF my list of requirements in guys I dated.
I did not meet any sweet homely dudes. I mostly just got treated like crap and then questioned by my friends for lowering my standards.
12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:38 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
I lowered my looks standards for STBX. He is so far away from the level of attractiveness I'd always dated. I thought that my problem had been I was being too shallow. So along comes this not-attractive guy who was sweeping me off my feet, I thought I'd see what happened. Now look at where I am...
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
notmeanymore ( member #9772) posted at 12:47 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
I have to admit I'm biased AGAINST attractive guys. It's awful of me to assume they're jerks just because they're good looking, but I've come to realize I typically avoid them.
This is not to say that I couldn't change my mind if/when I got to know them. It's just my knee jerk reaction to meeting one.
Now I did have a horrible date-rape experience with the best looking guy I'd ever dated. So maybe there is something more behind it.
"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers
tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 1:22 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Several people have told me that they wondered why I was ever with STBX-- not only (do they say) am I far more attractive physically than he is, but they also couldn't understand the attraction to his personality!
Yeah... not going to sell myself short next time. I was an insecure 19-year-old kid who never thought that guys liked her, so when STBX and I met, I think I was vulnerable because I wanted someone "to like me" and was totally open to romanticizing everything about him.
Alone is far better. However, being with a hot guy would not be too awful either, though, after this go-round (kidding, kidding). 
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 1:28 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
For me, attraction begins with an intellectual connection. My wonderful GDM had me with his stories and experiences. Even now, I love to talk to him about anything.
He is slight and bald. But he is beautiful in his heart and spirit--where it counts.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 1:40 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Cursed with a weakness for hot guys....
IMHO there are no hot guys in existence... except maybe Elvis. 
-t2g 
BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 1:47 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
I am totally in support of more women giving up on hot guys. Give the rest of us a chance!
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
HappilyUnMarried ( member #21299) posted at 2:48 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
I had a fondness for hot guys too. My XWH was extremely attractive. I felt beneath him.
My SO isn't someone you would say "Oh wow" when you see him in the streets. He isn't hot. His personality, though, overcame his lack of hotness. And I am more attracted to him than anyone I have ever met. Hot or not. Hotness only keeps your interest for so long. A compatible personality lasts much longer and even gets better with time!
[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 8:49 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]
True happiness comes from within, not from someone else. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 3:37 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Hmmmm....well MAYBE I won't give up COMPLETELY on ALL hot guys... but just expand my horizons and be more open to other guys as well! If I meet a guy that is not my usual physical type...but he is everything else that I am looking for in a man....sweet...kind....intelligent...and responsible... then I will definitely give him a chance! In the past I would have narrowed my standards to the near impossible...and almost always end up with gorgeous...shallow....insensitive....and lacking in most of my deeper qualities... 
But....also....don't get me wrong... if I meet an Ian Somerhalder look-a-like(Damon from the "Vampire Diaries") who is sweet...kind...responsible...intelligent...and...OH HELL... I definitely wouldn't spat in his face! 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:44 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
T/j
T2g- you have to qualify the hotness of Elvis. He is only hot before and during the '72 comeback special.
After that, he's just fat and sweaty.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 3:50 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
The '68 Comeback Special. Watch it on Youtube. I saw that leather outfit at Graceland. That.
-t2g
BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:52 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
ProbableIceCream ( member #37468) posted at 5:50 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
What's with this black and white dichotomy between "hot" and "ugly" guys?
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 8:54 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
I've redefined my perception of "hot."
To me, a guy is "hot" if he makes me a priority, treats me with respect, loves me and cares for me, and can talk openly to me about anything without getting defensive or combative. My new guy is the hottest guy I've ever been with (he isn't what most would consider hot) and he is definitely the most amazing lover I've ever been with (looks have nothing to do with bedroom performance).
I look at other so-called hot guys at this point and they do absolutely NOTHING for me, of course no other guys do anything for me because I have what I was looking for right now......
[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 8:54 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 12:46 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
So along comes this not-attractive guy who was sweeping me off my feet, I thought I'd see what happened. Now look at where I am...
^^Ditto. The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab. I'm going pretty next time.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 2:10 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
When I was on a dating site (looong ago) this was my headline...
"I am looking for IQ not GQ"
SO the bastard broke my heart...
Yeah, well, neeext!
[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 10:19 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]
Exit WoundsH of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.
TrustNoOne ( member #16591) posted at 3:16 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 3:31 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
jennie160 ( member #29949) posted at 4:16 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Several people have told me that they wondered why I was ever with STBX-- not only (do they say) am I far more attractive physically than he is, but they also couldn't understand the attraction to his personality!
Yeah... not going to sell myself short next time. I was an insecure 19-year-old kid who never thought that guys liked her, so when STBX and I met, I think I was vulnerable because I wanted someone "to like me" and was totally open to romanticizing everything about him.
This was my XH and I as well. I can't tell you how many times people asked me why I was with him.
When I started dating after my D I didn't pay too much attention to looks, what really mattered to me was confidence. Did they feel good about themselves? Did they think they looked good but not in a narcissist way? XH didn't feel good about himself and would abuse me to knock me down to his level.
Current SO is probably the most attractive person I have dated, both physically and personality wise. He is a pretty big guy (think linebacker) and would have no trouble picking up a girl in the bar. But I don't feel lucky that he picked me, more lucky that I found him. Like a needle in a stack of narcissistic douchebags.
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