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User Topic: Cursed with a weakness for hot guys.... gotta break that!
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Funny  Posted: 11:51 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay....so I gotta be honest....when I lurk in the dating sites and just look (no contacting)....I always get drawn to the hot guys.....and I can almost ALWAYS pick out the douchebags too...and can usually tell just by the pictures they have or the way they talk about themselves that they are douchebags....and then that's usually enough to have me running for the hills (cause that's my M.O. when it comes to dating... finding emotionally unavailable cocky jackasses!!!

I think the next sweet ugly guy that asks me out, I will just go for it!


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2445 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are just as many douchey guys who are unattractive. For years I purposely took physical attraction OFF my list of requirements in guys I dated.

I did not meet any sweet homely dudes. I mostly just got treated like crap and then questioned by my friends for lowering my standards.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49406 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lowered my looks standards for STBX. He is so far away from the level of attractiveness I'd always dated. I thought that my problem had been I was being too shallow. So along comes this not-attractive guy who was sweeping me off my feet, I thought I'd see what happened. Now look at where I am...


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8785 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
notmeanymore
♀ Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit I'm biased AGAINST attractive guys. It's awful of me to assume they're jerks just because they're good looking, but I've come to realize I typically avoid them.

This is not to say that I couldn't change my mind if/when I got to know them. It's just my knee jerk reaction to meeting one.

Now I did have a horrible date-rape experience with the best looking guy I'd ever dated. So maybe there is something more behind it.


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 839 | Registered: Feb 2006
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Several people have told me that they wondered why I was ever with STBX-- not only (do they say) am I far more attractive physically than he is, but they also couldn't understand the attraction to his personality!

Yeah... not going to sell myself short next time. I was an insecure 19-year-old kid who never thought that guys liked her, so when STBX and I met, I think I was vulnerable because I wanted someone "to like me" and was totally open to romanticizing everything about him.

Alone is far better. However, being with a hot guy would not be too awful either, though, after this go-round (kidding, kidding).


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3403 | Registered: Oct 2011
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, attraction begins with an intellectual connection. My wonderful GDM had me with his stories and experiences. Even now, I love to talk to him about anything.

He is slight and bald. But he is beautiful in his heart and spirit--where it counts.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29473 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cursed with a weakness for hot guys....

IMHO there are no hot guys in existence... except maybe Elvis.

-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9145 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am totally in support of more women giving up on hot guys. Give the rest of us a chance!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 10 and 13
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1354 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
HappilyUnMarried
♀ Member
Member # 21299
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a fondness for hot guys too. My XWH was extremely attractive. I felt beneath him.

My SO isn't someone you would say "Oh wow" when you see him in the streets. He isn't hot. His personality, though, overcame his lack of hotness. And I am more attracted to him than anyone I have ever met. Hot or not. Hotness only keeps your interest for so long. A compatible personality lasts much longer and even gets better with time!

[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 8:49 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.† Donít make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy

Posts: 1291 | Registered: Oct 2008
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmmm....well MAYBE I won't give up COMPLETELY on ALL hot guys... but just expand my horizons and be more open to other guys as well! If I meet a guy that is not my usual physical type...but he is everything else that I am looking for in a man....sweet...kind....intelligent...and responsible... then I will definitely give him a chance! In the past I would have narrowed my standards to the near impossible...and almost always end up with gorgeous...shallow....insensitive....and lacking in most of my deeper qualities...

But....also....don't get me wrong... if I meet an Ian Somerhalder look-a-like(Damon from the "Vampire Diaries") who is sweet...kind...responsible...intelligent...and...OH HELL... I definitely wouldn't spat in his face!


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2445 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T/j

T2g- you have to qualify the hotness of Elvis. He is only hot before and during the '72 comeback special.

After that, he's just fat and sweaty.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7033 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The '68 Comeback Special. Watch it on Youtube. I saw that leather outfit at Graceland. That.

-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9145 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So did I! Twice!


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7033 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
ProbableIceCream
♂ Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's with this black and white dichotomy between "hot" and "ugly" guys?


Me: born 1982.
DD: born 2006 (I have abt 80% custody).
My D-Day was April 2012. Divorced Jul 2013.

Posts: 509 | Registered: Nov 2012
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:54 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've redefined my perception of "hot."

To me, a guy is "hot" if he makes me a priority, treats me with respect, loves me and cares for me, and can talk openly to me about anything without getting defensive or combative. My new guy is the hottest guy I've ever been with (he isn't what most would consider hot) and he is definitely the most amazing lover I've ever been with (looks have nothing to do with bedroom performance).

I look at other so-called hot guys at this point and they do absolutely NOTHING for me, of course no other guys do anything for me because I have what I was looking for right now......

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 8:54 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14917 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So along comes this not-attractive guy who was sweeping me off my feet, I thought I'd see what happened. Now look at where I am...

^^Ditto. The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab. I'm going pretty next time.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4565 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was on a dating site (looong ago) this was my headline...


"I am looking for IQ not GQ"

SO the bastard broke my heart...
Yeah, well, neeext!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 10:19 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2474 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...
TrustNoOne
♀ Member
Member # 16591
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab.


//gasping//

Not often do I laugh that hard, in my office, and draw the attention of others.


Posts: 1296 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: SoCal
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Funny  Posted: 9:31 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab.

Okay...at least I can say the last two fuckers were pretty.... maybe pretty has nothing to do with fuck-tardedness.......

I think that's the most I've used the F word since my false R! Oh well.... hehehehehe ::putting filter back into place::

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:32 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2445 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
jennie160
♀ Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Several people have told me that they wondered why I was ever with STBX-- not only (do they say) am I far more attractive physically than he is, but they also couldn't understand the attraction to his personality!

Yeah... not going to sell myself short next time. I was an insecure 19-year-old kid who never thought that guys liked her, so when STBX and I met, I think I was vulnerable because I wanted someone "to like me" and was totally open to romanticizing everything about him.

This was my XH and I as well. I can't tell you how many times people asked me why I was with him.

When I started dating after my D I didn't pay too much attention to looks, what really mattered to me was confidence. Did they feel good about themselves? Did they think they looked good but not in a narcissist way? XH didn't feel good about himself and would abuse me to knock me down to his level.

Current SO is probably the most attractive person I have dated, both physically and personality wise. He is a pretty big guy (think linebacker) and would have no trouble picking up a girl in the bar. But I don't feel lucky that he picked me, more lucky that I found him. Like a needle in a stack of narcissistic douchebags.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
Topic Posts: 23
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