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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Minor breakdown at work
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'm losing it.

Everything seems to be going wrong right now and the stress is making me handle every little set-back emotionally. Either by anger or tears.

Yesterday, I found out that EX's car accidents are showing up under my name, so now I am having to deal with disputing the mistake, which looks like it will take 2 months. So, so much for getting decent new quotes before my next insurance term is up in a few weeks.

I was told that DS10's math book is missing. So about $100 if we can't find it. I've looked all over, I don't think it's at the house. EX swears it's not at his house. I'm going to clear out closets tonight. Guess who will end up paying if it's not found. Me!

Then, both boys are getting surgeries next week. I told the urologist's office that they need to contact me. I am the custodial parent and that they keep calling EX (since the urgent care had his number listed first and they referred us), but to change it to me. They said they would. I called yesterday to check on pre-ops, etc... They said they would call me today.

The hospital called EX instead. He only talked to someone about one of the two kids and he didn't ask any of the questions I needed answered and he didn't have anyone's contact information for me to call back.

I called the Dr's office pretty upset. I told them that I told them that I gave them my phone number, that I am the custodial parent and I am the one dealing with their health issues and will need the pre-op instructions since I will have the kids with me. She put me on hold for a long time and then said someone would call me back. No answers.

I then got off the phone and started crying.

These aren't big deals...but I am sick of sharing the kids. I am sick of not knowing half of what is going on in their lives. I am sick of DS13 coming home Sunday night after obviously not bathing or brushing his teeth since he left my house Friday morning.

I still have to take care of 100% of the responsibilities of the kids, but with only having them 60% of the time.

I am unhappy, depressed and anxious.

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 3:43 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


BW (me) - 44
DS 13, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3190 | Registered: Dec 2008
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Tabitha )))


Me - 41
My Rockstar (Hubs #2) - 46, faithful, & an absolute doll!
DD(20) and DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs and 2 Cats)

The Cheater:
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW. Undiagnosed SA?)
Married 18yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 5492 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: United States
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tabitha)))
I still have to take care of 100% of the responsibilities of the kids, but with only having them 60% of the time.
Me too, and it IS terribly stressful, but you will get through it. I only have 3 more years to go with this and I have gotten used to it.

I'm sorry you are so stressed and worn out right now. You have a lot to deal with. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts to get you through this rough patch....


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14900 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tabitha)))

Ok, break down. Then realize you are dealing with this. The break down is reactionary to HAVING to deal with it, but dealing with it is what you are doing. Good for you!!

kudos, strength and peace winging your way.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5287 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone!

A few things got smoothed out since I wrote this.

I need to figure out how to control my emotions. I feel like I'm fighting them all the time. I hate feeling out of control emotionally.


BW (me) - 44
DS 13, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3190 | Registered: Dec 2008
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to figure out how to control my emotions. I feel like I'm fighting them all the time. I hate feeling out of control emotionally.
You're preaching to the choir tabitha. ((Hugs)) You're doing fine - that's what we're here for.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to figure out how to control my emotions. I feel like I'm fighting them all the time. I hate feeling out of control emotionally.

Therapist suggested I schedule time to cry. I needed to cry or I would have a meltdown at some point during each day. I ended up crying in my shower or my bath tub. It really helped to take the edge off of the teary volcano.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4001 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before we separated, I cried every morning in the shower.

I hadn't really felt the need to do that for awhile.

But the feeling is coming back.


BW (me) - 44
DS 13, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3190 | Registered: Dec 2008
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doctors calling the wrong parent -- maybe this is a hipaa issue? Is this a doc at the hospital? If so, call the hospital ombudsman or patient rep. You might also try your insurance company to see if they have a case manager you could use.

It's ok to breakdown at work. You're under a lot of stress, and you're still getting it all done.

ETA. I wonder what the law is in your state regarding custodial parents and health care decisions. You might be able to get some general info on a legal website. Or call your lawyer? Nothing like a letter in legalese to make oeople behave.

[This message edited by StrongerOne at 5:03 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 784 | Registered: Sep 2012
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unlikely to be a HIPAA vio unless tabitha has sole legal custody. Usually divorced parents retain joint legal custody even when physical custody is primarily with one parent. Unless the orders/decree state otherwise, both parents have right to health, educational etc info for the kids.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 707 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 10

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