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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Prostitutes, really?
Bobbi_sue
♀ Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 5:04 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XH was with prostitutes as well throughout our 13 yr. M. I did not know about most of it until near the end. He confessed to two of them early on in the M, but then he got religious so I believed he was remorseful. Looking back, he was not remorseful but believed it was a "sin" so that is why he confessed.


You may own 50% of the problems in the marriage, but his decision to cheat was totally 100% his wrong decision.
While some BS may be partially responsible for problems in the M, it sounds like you did nothing wrong at all. I take no responsibility for anything that went wrong in my first M. Nobody is perfect and I'm not either, but even if he had never cheated, I was a far better spouse than he was and I won't back down from that, even though I'm pretty sure he has gone through life telling people the failure of our marriage was "both our faults."

Posts: 5682 | Registered: Apr 2006
Athena1979
♀ Member
Member # 39393
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bobbi sue, thank you for the insight of affair being 100% his fault. When he told me that he did it because I was not talking to him (which I do talk, but have learned what subjects not to talk about because he yells at me often and I have told him this before), I thought, is that the answer then? Cheat? I told him when I felt depressed or lonely, instead adapting or adjusting myself or the situation, I was supposed to be sleeping with other men? Have I been doing this wrong? What you're telling me is is while time I should have been a slut, dishonest and sleep with random people?

I know the right answer should be talking with the other person (my husband), but whenever I would he would start yelling at me, become defensive, tell me to stop nagging, make me cry, and then storm out of the house without me having any opportunity to say anything.

I am a really laid back person. I am not someone who gets angry or yells or acts in an immature way. I know how to handle conflict, take ownership when needed and learn from situations.

When I would tell him that I don't like bringing up subjects that conflicts with his ideas (for example, please shut the door because the a/c is on-results in him screaming at me and storming out of the house), because he reacts very negatively to my ideas or opinions, he would disregard me and what I tell him - again in a negative and defensive way.

His inability to communicate should have been my first red flag to get out.

[This message edited by Athena1979 at 9:22 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)]


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
Athena1979
♀ Member
Member # 39393
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And taking into consideration the women who are prostitutes...

I wish I could find some mugshots of the girls my WH was with to make him get a little more disgusted with himself, but he has so many, I wouldn't know where to start.

No little girl EVER says, I can't wait to grow up and be a prostitute! Something had to get them to that place. Something awful. Something so awful that the only way they see out is to have sex for money with strange men who aren't man enough to get their jollies from their wives or girlfriends or men who can't get anything from any woman at all. How pathetic is that?

My best friend's sister was very promiscuous. She did heroin, meth, coke, marijuana. She beat up boyfriends, girlfriends, whoever. In return she was beat up, too. She cheated and lied and stole. My friend was raised by her mom. Her sister was raised mostly by her dad...who had multiple different girlfriends coming and going in their house.

She had said once that she sleeps with anyone because she just wants attention from men. And the only way she felt she could get attention from a man was to be sexual with them.

Later on, I believe she was having sex with men for drugs. So it went from having sex with many men for attention, to having sex with men to get drugs or money or whatever she needed.

She is now married to a sheriff with a daughter. Funny how things turn out.

Knowing that these women are desperate women, living a disgusting life and my husband is contributing to this lifestyle is degrading to him, the prostitute, me and our family.

The greatest insult I can give to these women is pitying their poor pathetic lives and their inability to rise above their circumstances to be something better.


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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