Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Afwife4201 (43167)

Off Topic Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Residential treatment tomorrow - needing support
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nik--having worked with kids and parents for many years in a variety of roles, one thing I know for sure--parents do their kids no favors by taking the easy way out. The easy thing would to be to let things stay the way they are, pretend everything is ok, that this is just a "phase" or that the problem will resolve itself. You and your daughter are taking an enormous, positive step in the right direction. You are quite possibly saving your daughter's life. It's painful, scary and I'm sure you'll wonder how both of you will manage. Most parents aren't willing to do the hard stuff and they and their kids often suffer because of it. You are doing the hard stuff--for all the right reasons. By doing so you are teaching your daughter an important lesson about strength, problem-solving and doing what's right even when it's scary. Both of you are incredibly brave. Here's wishing both of you love, peace, wisdom and strength to meet whatever challenges are ahead. And--the promise of looking forward to a day when all of this will be behind you. Hugs.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2056 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK and family)))

Stay strong, mama. As an educator, I fully support what you're doing. I often see kids whose parents have their heads in the proverbial sand. They pretend that there isn't anything wrong, and then it's often too late to do anything. You're making the right choice not only for her but for all of you.

extra hugs:

(((NIK and family)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3387 | Registered: Oct 2011
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK & family)))


FWW - 40
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent...

Posts: 5520 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK & family)))

I'm proud to see that you're doing what you need to do for the best outcome for your family. I hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible. I work with individuals who have developmental disabilities. There are many who thrive on strict schedules and there is chaos if their schedule is slightly changed. While I haven't been through it myself, I can understand how difficult this is for yourself and your family.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 3970 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lots of hugs to you and your fam, NIK.


Me - 41
My Rockstar (Hubs #2) - 46, faithful, & an absolute doll!
DD(20) and DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs and 2 Cats)

The Cheater:
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW. Undiagnosed SA?)
Married 18yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 5494 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: United States
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK & family))))

You are doing the right thing, I hope it works out for your DD.

Sending strength and mojo to you all.

((((NIK & family))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2501 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
sunandmoon
♀ Member
Member # 10180
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NIK and family))

NIK-

You are doing the 100% right thing for all of you.

I worked for an organization that supports children and family (not as a caregiver- in Admin) and one of the groups I supported is and RTF. While she is heading in to the unknown it will quickly become all the things she craves and finds comfort in. Schedules, communication, consistency is paramount in a well run residential community. I pray that your DD has caregivers who are as talented and deadicated as those I worked with. I saw many many miracles. Kids that turned a corner and really found their best selves.

You and your DD will be in my prayers!

sunandmoon


Posts: 1631 | Registered: Mar 2006
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you and dd lots of strength....


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2490 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
stroppy_wanadoo
♀ Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My warmest thoughts are with you... you are making a difficult but compassionate choice and giving her the greatest gift of all - your love.

(((NIK, DD and DS)))


Posts: 955 | Registered: Jul 2006
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nik and family)))

Posts: 2963 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Prayers for you and your DD. Tonight will be tough- keep her in view- as they sometimes panic and try to go for a last binge. My son did that. And sometimes they try anything to talk you out of thinking they need to go. Stay strong.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1261 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your wonderful words of comfort and encouragement. DD is doing ok so far after an anxiety-filled night of questions last night.

We are currently picking out books and pictures for her to keep in her room at the facility, and she's in a fairly positive place. She's ready for the Tourette's to be under control and the anxiety and OCD to ease up.

Her biggest concern is with learning how to handle her anger and defuse a situation before she builds up to an outburst. That is both a medical issue and a behavioral one, and will likely be the hardest to address.

Fingers crossed for the rest of the afternoon, as we're under a tornado watch, and severe weather is a major stressor for her.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22578 | Registered: Aug 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending hugs and a ton of support your way.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 34638 | Registered: Sep 2007
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My heart goes out to all of you.

All I can suggest is to keep showing and telling your daughter that you love her, visit as much as possible, and give as much emotional support as you can - to your daughter and to yourself. Remember this feels difficult because it is difficult.

And keep reminding yourself you can't predict the future. You can only hope for the best and do your best.

(((NIK & Family)))


FBH (me) - 65+, FWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together almost 49 (as of January, 2014)
DDay - 12/2010
Almost Recovered
I share my own experience not because I'm a good model but because it's the only experience I know.

Posts: 8885 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are being covered with prayers and warm thoughts, NIK, you and your sweet dd. That's such a scary step to take, but one I know you aren't taking lightly.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2480 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
deeplysad
♀ Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending lots of (((hugs))) to all of you


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3175 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you both today, sending strength and confidence.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13188 | Registered: Jul 2011
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs are prayers.

I admire the strength you have. It isn't always easy to do "the right thing".

Hope the day goes well.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3196 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK))))) warm thoughts!


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2361 | Registered: Jan 2010
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck to you guys today! Thinking of you



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42759 | Registered: Sep 2006
Topic Posts: 85
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5

Return to Forum: Off Topic Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.