I will no longer resist the idea that ex asshole really is a narcissist. I don't know about full blown npd. I don't think he's quite there, but narcissistic tendencies? He's all over that.
Without going into a long story, I had asked if he wanted a little extra time with the kids. He told me no, that he couldn't because he had to work every night this week.
Well, I saw with my own little peepers the other evening he and someone (it would be awesome if it was some other slob aside from the slunt) driving down the street headed toward one of his favorite drinking spots. Working, my ass.
Anyway, it pissed me off for about a half a second. And then I thought, this guy is really too twisted and narcissistic for words since he still, after all this time, feels the need to lie. There would have been nothing wrong with telling me he had other plans. But no. He has to lie to me to make it seem like he really would want to step up and be a good dad, save and except for work. When the truth is that he can't even really admit to himself that he'd rather drink than spend an extra couple of hours with his children.
He's really fucked up. Really. I guess that for people like this self reflection is like kryptonite. He will never look. He will go on with his life making sure that anyone who expects him to do the right thing only sees what he wants them to see. That's why he picked her. She is an amoral, juvenile, ignorant POS who expects nothing from him in terms of morals or ethics. He could care less what she sees. Hell, shes already seen and been an accomplice to his very worst self. Everyone else? He will run and hide his true self for as long as he can.
I'm so sad that he is their father. But I'm also really glad that I no longer have to be caught up on his deceit. He still lies, and it looks like he will forever, but it no longer hurts me.
I won't ever argue with anyone again that this is really his true self. It must be exhausting to live a life full of such bullshit.