Were together 7+yrs, Ended R.
I did a post nupt. I gave an ultimatum, sign or I leave.
First, you can't put anything about kids or child support in. Not legal or ethical.
Second, yes, I would have had to pay him 5k a month in alimony (wtf) even when I had proof of his multiple affairs.
I gave him half of the current assets, then made sure no alimony in the post nupt. So, anything after his affairs is mine, treated like we divorced, as long as it is in my name.
Btw, open that subject up to more than men..... Some women make more (1 in 4). And, women who are married to a man who makes less are much more likely to get cheated on, from a statistical standpoint.....
PM me if any specific questions :)
Again, you can't negotiate child support or custody.
My attorney told me I was the only person he knew that had a spouse sign a post nupt. But it was simply a deal breaker if he didn't. No effin way I am paying him alimony when the marriage ended because of his cheating ( which would be the only reason short of abuse that would make me leave)
Next step bringing it up
First of all, for it to have any chance of holding up in court, you have to hire THREE lawyers- one for you, one for him/her and another to "evaluate" the agreement to make sure it's fair. And since it's basically a divorce settlement, it has to be pretty fair- a post-nup that says "if you cheat you get the clothes on your back and nothing else" is not worth the paper it's printed on.
Even if you go through the whole process, post-nups have a dismal track record because there is basically no way to argue that the "losing" party didn't sign under any kind of duress, because a post-nup is kind of an inherent duress in and of itself.
Another avenue to explore is whether your state has "fault" divorce or not. If you can prove infidelity and get a fault-based divorce, you will have to pay little to no alimony.
Again, from a legal standpoint a post-nup is pretty much about protecting the financial assets of the faithful party and preventing them from having to pay alimony. What I wanted was for him legally bet everything he owns on his own fidelity. That's not realistic.
A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard
Yeah, it's a lot more complex. And we were told that we needed two lawyers one for me and one for him. And I would imagine it has a lot to deal with whatever state you're in I'm in California.
D-Day, June 10, 2012