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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Update from Sazerac.
♀ Member
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You've had support. It didn't help.

You've had Juki. It didn't help.

So, screw that. Here are the facts: you're abusive. You minimize it. You focus on her and like the mask of being contrite.

No one buys it.

You're an adult, right? You're familiar with expenses and lawyers and having to do things in a legal context, in a responsible context, without focusing on how she's supposed to facilitate it, yes?

Put up or shut up, Saz. People have tried to help. You're just digging the prestige. Prove that there is substance behind your conflict.

Actions. Not words. Try it out.

Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok been reading this not sure what you are looking for. You have said you cheated and abused your wife. She has left and requested no contact. Simply. How do you handle it the expenses, the same way it was before. If the businesses are closing then sell them. Don't keep harassing her. If there in her name my guess is she will deal with them. If the police are involved them my guess is she is afraid and means it when she says no contact. My daughter just went through this and it was quite a pain as she still feels not safe. And was stuck with the bills. Worry about yourself right now. The worst is what you go to jail cause you can't quit bugging her? well then for sure you will be out of a job. Slow down and think strait. Go and see a doctor something. You are in a pity party right now. STOP IT. and face some facts
you have some issues and until you figure them out where there from and how to over come them NOTHING will get better.

Sorry but its true. You are kinda scaring me with the way the post is sounding. Do not do harm to your self or your wife.
Go to the hospital or somewhere so you can talk to someone I know there are crisis lines in the phone books.

BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6

Posts: 397 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow you ignore everything else I say and focus in on you confessing to your employers. I was not telling you to confess but giving you a possible reason why Juki might want you to. Driving past her place cannot be your only route and I thought you said the car was in your name, why are you calling her about the windows, I thought you took it back already.

NC means NC. She called the cops, good she needs to feel safe and you sure as hell are not giving it to her. I'm not sure how you read through all these responses and still don't try to follow any of the advice.

Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.

Posts: 2694 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ Member
Member # 308
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Juki is doing what she needs to do to feel safe.

Do you fucking get that? Have you ever been assaulted? Have you ever had a gun pointed at you, or a knife wielded? Have you even been hit?

Well, I have, and it isn't a calm, let's-talk-about-finances feeling the next day.

It's a I-hate-you-and-I-never-want-to-see-you-again feeling.

Juki gave you chance after chance. MORE chances than she should have. (first time in years that I've used that barfy smiley because it grosses me out)

You deal with 'your' finances, and I assume she'll deal with hers. And believe me, she could care less about your JOB, or your finances right now. She just wants to get away from YOU.

She gave you chance after chance. You TT after TT. She thought you loved her. That you would be willing to do the work. THAT'S why she was going to leave the car and drive home. Because she thought you would GET it. That you might realize the chance you had been be a couple again.

Either you aren't capable, or you (mistakenly) think she's buying into your BS. She's not, and neither are the hideous meanies who post on the WW side.

Either way, she's gone.

PLEASE leave her alone. She has requested NO CONTACT from you. What was your reaction to that? You sent her some sort of creepy message about her car windows being down. Don't you GET how scary that must have been for her? She must have felt like her abuser was stalking her.

I have to tell you the truth; if someone did to me what you did to your wife? They'd be in jail for a very long time. So.........she gave you a chance (multiple) because she loved you. You lied. You failed. You scared the shit out of her and now she's done (I hope).

Please work on YOU. You are not a safe person.

People start over every day financially. Go bankrupt. Get a new job if you lose this one, (and I have my doubts about you threatening that constantly).

If you really want your wife back, you have a long road ahead. YEARS. It might take years for her to even speak to you again. That might happen only if you become 'safe' (and if she doesn't move on).

Okay. My whole post was not very supportive. I guess I'll live with it.

Edited to fix pronouns.

[This message edited by FinallyHappy at 6:04 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)]

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."


Posts: 7323 | Registered: Jul 2002 | From: WI
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Red  Posted: 6:20 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please note this thread is now closed to BS's and the Stop Sign has been added. WS replies only.

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44219 | Registered: Sep 2006
♀ Member
Member # 308
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, meta.

Actually, the BS's have been quite mild and polite.

The people who have asked questions, etc, are mostly Waywards. As am I.

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."


Posts: 7323 | Registered: Jul 2002 | From: WI
♀ Member
Member # 308
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm missing something, aren't I?

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."


Posts: 7323 | Registered: Jul 2002 | From: WI
♂ Member
Member # 35244
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm missing something, aren't I?

Not sure what you mean?

Me 47
BW 46
Together 27
M 26
S 25

Posts: 273 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saz. You sound like my abusive XH. I could sit here and rant & rave at you but I know that wouldn't change shit. You'd still dodge accountability, still find a way to blame Juki, still spew the same shit. So, instead, I will say this before I bow out - I am very disappointed in you. Fix your shit - before you end up behind bars - and losing your job will be the least of your worries. Best of luck to you.

FWW - 41
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5827 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
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