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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Butthead?
NoraLee
♀ Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh - I want to phrase this post so I don't get a warning...I've been good for a LONG time now! I'm not venting...nor am I calling names...but my H did and I want to share - it was so silly but meaningful in a goofy way...

If you know me at all from my posts on SI - I am capable of some pretty horrific names for cOW. H is indifferent to her and seldom partakes in my name calling...but he understands my "need" for it.

Well I think I'm done giving her head space - I posted earlier about it - my epiphany about letting go. But my H had to work tonight and it's her day off. Usually when he has to work when she does - it involves THE DISCUSSION - how will H avoid - what if she approaches - even practicing his look of disgust should he accidently make eye contact with her (this was kind of in jest...but usually provided much comic relief!)

So tonight there was no need for a discussion - since it's her day off. But my H spontaneously said, "nothing to discuss tonight love! And pretty soon I'll never have to see butt head again!!" (she's changing departments)

I've NEVER called her that - in fact it's more a term my 14 year old might use! But it sent a message about how H sees her - an annoyance - as opposed to this MAJOR player in our lives - not this "soulmate" he saw her as during the EA. Just a goofy illusion.

Again, I'm not minimizing the pain caused by his A or her negative influence on our marriage.. But it made me laugh - there was no venom in the reference, no emotion...

I feel like we've turned a corner ...and I hope this is not just an upswing on the roller coaster...but I feel so good about where we are!!!


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
KBeguile
♂ Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats, Nora. Definitely love to hear it when positive begets positive!


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 801 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 2

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