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Newest Member: sandihaze (45362)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: No feelings towards xWS
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been 4 months since DDay and today when xWS came to collect our son he had to come into my home for a short time as my son was just waking up from his nap. I feel absolutely nothing when I see him now, no anger or sadness. Is this normal so soon after DDay?

Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Indifference is a good thing....but usually happens with more time. Don't be surprised if the rollercoaster starts back up again though..... I'm 3 and a half years post D-day and still have my moments every now and then...

Be kind to yourself! ((HUGZ))


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're right She11ybeanz, I am expecting another roller coaster as surely I can't get over someone I have been with for nearly 9 years that quickly. Though, I do think the length of happiness between each sad state is stretching out which is a good thing. :)

Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes...and the moments of sadness and anger will come less and less over time. I still have my moments...but they are not nearly as often as they were in the beginning! I was with my XWH for 8 years....so I totally understand where you are coming from!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is definitely a coaster for a while, especially for those of you that have to co-parent and have so much direct contact with the WS.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4609 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
stillsad1970
♀ Member
Member # 38977
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope 2 months out,dont give a shit,probably because he cheated lied and was a coward that it makes its easier. If thats how you feel , friggin awesome!

Posts: 77 | Registered: Apr 2013
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't compare yourself to other people too much -- what's normal for one person is not what's normal for the next!

I think it's a huge combination of your personality (resiliency appears to be hard-wired), your circumstances, the state of your marriage pre-D-Day, etc.

At four months out, we'd filed for D, but I was still hopeful he'd become the man I always thought he was. I didn't reach indifference until about 7 months post D-Day. But I have an advantage in that we didn't have kids together and no financial ties, so he's completely out of my life so I can move on.

Indifference is the goal. XWH now is just someone that I used to know.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3406 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 7

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