Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: spaceplease (45329)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Help! decode, decipher, talk me through
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The whole "what we have now is far superior" comment throws me. What do we have? we are both genuine. We laugh. We get along. We are intelligent and kind. I bet we make a pretty picture together. We have good table manners. What exactly about that is superior?? We are two decent people with no chemistry?

Yeah, I'm with you on this. It is such an odd comment, and clearly he views your relationship FAR differently than you do. In fact, it isn't a relationship, but a very casual friendship with no real intimacy, emotional or physical, right? He has you at arms length and there is nothing you can do about it.

My fSO declared his undying love for me a few months ago. I loved hearing every word, then he poofed again. You know what I did?

...and walked away. I can't wish him into someone else either. Serious intimacy issues and until he figures himself out...I'm not interested. I refuse. REFUSE. to be in another relationship with a man who does not have himself figured out or isn't capable of being in a full relationship.

Some think this is harsh...but...NEXT.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4182 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like he is just looking for a friend and doesn't want an intimate relationship with you. There are guys out there like that, not many, but a few that have GF's that are not romantic "GF's". It also sounds like he is not ready for a relationship and maybe that's why he took down his site. Maybe he saw that this was leading up to that and it scared him. You say he had a friend that left a year ago for her relationship. It sounds like he was just looking for this friends replacement when he found you. If he doesn't actually initiate any physical contact with you and you are holding his hand then that tells me he doesn't want any physical relationship with you. If you have trouble being around him as just a friend, then tell him that and move on to what you are looking for. It sounds like he has some issues (baggage) that he is carrying around and you don't need anymore of that (RED FLAG WAVING) in another relationship.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For the life of me, I can't figure out why people like this are on dating sites.

Did his profile state that he was looking for friends only?

She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7605 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.