As for your other actions, Why did you want a man to be with you only because you threatened him with work exposure?
Remove the threats to your WH and his job. Tell him he can do what he wants. If he stays, then that's true reconciliation. It's not true reconciliation if he's there only from coercion.
If he wants to stay, then you'll have a true reconciliation and happier marriage if he's not mentally doing what that song lyric says - counting the days until the end of time or until one or the other of you dies so he can be free.
If he's hanging around after the threat to tell is taken off the table and he knows it will never happen, then you'll know he's with you because he wants to be with you.,
[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 3:49 PM, May 31st (Friday)]
It is highly likely that they have taken the A underground as they didn't want to end it on their own, you forced them. I bet they have found a way to get around you. If he wants out of the M, please let him go. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve better.
If she claimed it now, before her BS knows, then it might have traction. But after she gets caught in an affair by her BS? No one is going to believe it.