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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: And here it comes...
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the bad feelings and trying not to cry. Told the kids to give me 5 minutes before I start dinner (so I could post). For those who don't know my story down in this forum, part of it is I had my youngest in September 2011. One month later he started his A with co-worker OW. 2 months after that we were talking about if this was it for kids. Days before dday I thought we had decided that one more would complete our family. Then dday (fast forwarding through all the crap after) and one year later I got pregnant by accident. Miscarried this past February.

I know I shouldn't have looked. I knew what it would be. I knew that member was pregnant and that her picture in the picture thread would be of that. I'm still grieving. Just for what it is, a death, and for how it relates to the A. And of course he hasn't let me. This Mother's Day he wrote a little in my card about it....that's it. Didn't say a word to me. No gentle touches. Even though I cried in front of him. So the feelings came back...the loss, the loss of what we could have had if he wasn't an idiot, not feeling worthy. I know logically it is all him. He is the messed up one. I know after dday he was the one to mess everything up. Today I've also struggled with wanting to email the OW and telling her off. But I also know that she didn't control what happened after dday. So in a way I also want to thank her for helping me realize what he is and not to waste any more of my life on him.

I know I'm rambling. Just felt upset for the first time in 2 days. However, I don't feel anything for him right now. I'm not even mad...feeling sorry for myself really.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 10 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 8, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

I'm getting out of here.


Posts: 1706 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((TCD)))))) I'm so sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't feel anything for him right now. I'm not even mad...feeling sorry for myself really
I think you are going through stages of grief and just know that it is OK to feel sorry for yourself. You got hurt, now you have to heal....
We are here for you

(((((TCD)))))


Posts: 2478 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big hugs girl. Lots and lots of love to you..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2002 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Reality
♀ Member
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not feeling sorry for yourself to be sad, TCD. That's not you being self indulgent, or self destructive, or anything but hurt and in the middle of BIG trauma. Be nice to yourself and give yourself credit. You can have these feelings. It's RIGHT to have these feelings.

Love, strength, and support.


Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TCD)))

It's ok to be sad for all that is lost.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It will be nice to grieve without being made to feel bad about it or that how and how long I needed was wrong.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 10 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 8, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

I'm getting out of here.


Posts: 1706 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TCD)))


Posts: 33897 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 8

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