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Newest Member: Makeitstop85 (44953)

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User Topic: Alrighty then...definitely not looking to date. not a booty call
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Revenge  Posted: 10:38 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Soooo...that guy I told you guys about that just fell off the face of the planet and stopped messaging me after looking at my Facebook profile sent me a random text this evening while I was out to dinner with my family at a restaurant. He was like...."What happened to you? You never texted back!"

I was honest and told him that when he just stopped talking to me that I figured he had a change of heart and he made a slightly smartass comment "Well, don't you know how to converse?"

Grrrr.....I wanted to say...."Don't you?"

So we went back and forth with this odd banter for a little bit and he sent another picture of himself so I sent one of me sitting there....no makeup....not caring what I looked like.....and was like... "Here I am...in the raw!" Then made a joke about my sister taking my picture. Then...he says..."How old is she...?"

Um....exsqueeze me...? I said... 42...why? Interested? LOL! He was like...NO...just being curious! LOL Hmmmmm.....

So...I tell him that I'm going home cause it was way past my daughter's bedtime and I had to put her to bed and he said he was going to ask if I wanted to do something....(it was like 10:30pm by this time and please keep in mind I have NEVER met this guy!) I said....no....not today. Then he said...."SO I guess you wouldn't want me to come to your house?"

WHAT?????!!!!!

I said...."Not for the first time I meet you! No." And, he said.."Ok. Figured." Then said...."Oops..." and sent me a picture of him with his shirt off....and said he didn't "mean" to send that picture.....

Oh lord.

He said....."But I'm not shy"...and I said I was happy for him. Ugh. SO not going there!

So....he asks what I'm doing tomorrow and I have plans to be honest....and as a single mom....I have to make my plans in advance! He seemed annoyed by this and said..... "I see" Um.....look dude....I have a 10 month old daughter that I take care of by myself.... and I can't pull a babysitter out of my ass on a whim just because you flash me a picture of your hairy chest in your bathroom mirror with your cell phone like some hormone-crazed teenage boy on a webcam!

Do these sort of tactics actually work for some guys???? Sheesh.....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me fellow men amaze me all the time...

All you got was a pic of his chest?

What a light weight!

Just kidding of course!

As Macakipa says "SHEEESH"

Next this dude!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes....THANK GAWD that's ALL I got!!! In the past when I tried OLD....I got pictures of much MUCH more than that! Once I actually got a random picture of a guy's LIMP "little buddy" and it was the 1st day he started texting me too!!! I was traumatized by that!!!

The fact that he was brazen enough to ask if he could come over to my house made me want to reach through the phone and back hand him.....seriously?? I will give him credit... at least I know he has balls! But, he can find himself another girl for his late night hookups cause I'm not it.

Barking up the wrong tree bozo!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 10:52 PM, May 31st (Friday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

really...block his ass...there are SOOOO many more fish in the sea...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3130 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly, are these guys messaging you or are you messaging them? Your profile might need a bit of a rewrite if it's bringing in so many guys who don't understand the concept of your lifestyle. If your profile clearly articulates (near the beginning of a section, so even those skimming will see it) that you have a daughter, are busy, need to make plans well in advance, and are looking for someone and something that will fit into that lifestyle, it'll be easy to redirect guys back to your first point of contact together, i.e. them reading your profile, and just shut them down. "I made it pretty clear on my profile that I'm looking for something more serious and need to make plans well in advance, I'm not sure what you were expecting. We might just not be a good fit, so I wish you well."


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13743 | Registered: Jul 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with Ama. Time to give the speech...here is mine:

"You seem like a nice person with some good qualities, but you are not a good fit for me. Good luck in your search!"

Then, crickets. Block. Never respond again. Trust your initial impression that he is not for you and walk away.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
CallMeRed1
♀ Member
Member # 36870
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly this sort of nonsense works enough times that some people will give it a try.

My exWH did this sort of crap all the time and ended up getting loads of action...

Don't waste your time on him, it sounds to me like he's just after the physical.


D-Day 19 July 2012
Me - BS - 42
Status: Divorced

Posts: 187 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: England
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a little bit older than you, but I've had those ones that want the late night booty call.

I have actually said " if I were your daughter, what would you think of some guy wanting to come to her house at midnight? Now safe is that?"

They get my point very quickly.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7653 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do you keep giving these a**holes second chances? That opening gambit of his was pure lying manipulation. Why take it any further?


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3090 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Hope24
♀ Member
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly, I know you're a good person with the best of intentions, but you let these conversations go too far. It looks like encouragement to them. Enforce your boundaries way earlier and save yourself some grief.


She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7605 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your profile might need a bit of a rewrite if it's bringing in so many guys who don't understand the concept of your lifestyle. If your profile clearly articulates (near the beginning of a section, so even those skimming will see it) that you have a daughter, are busy, need to make plans well in advance, and are looking for someone and something that will fit into that lifestyle, it'll be easy to redirect guys back to your first point of contact together, i.e. them reading your profile, and just shut them down.

Amazonia, SADLY.... YES!!!! I made this CRYSTAL clear.....I seem to have a problem with guys that just look at my pictures (and no...nothing out of the way..just normal pictures...and NOT reading my profile....and them just contacting me.... I just don't get it!!! I hate it! And, yet again...I attract the usual douchebags... don't worry...he is blocked!!! Unbelievable!)


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have actually said " if I were your daughter, what would you think of some guy wanting to come to her house at midnight? Now safe is that?"

Williesmom....I should have tried this!!! Like Seriously!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys are all right...I should have popped his balloon WAY sooner in the conversation! To be honest....as soon as he sent me that 1st text almost 2 days later.....I should have X'd the wind from his sails!

Thank you guys for keeping me sane!!! I love you all!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you would be surprised how much this works, and even less!!

I met my guy OLD & the stories he can tell of some of women he met The only picture he had that was anywhere like that was him playing basketball with the guys - shirts & skins. He got more pictures of boobs than I knew existed

BTW all erased and not mine!!!


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
DOH!  Posted: 9:35 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW....it just amazes me that those lines work! He had a lot of nerve asking if "I wouldn't mind him coming to my place!"

UM....as a matter of fact...YES...YES I mind....you manwhore!

I've gone over a year now without sex....and I can go a lot longer..... for I am a sex camel.

And, now I shall trot my happy little butt across the desert in search for an oasis...instead of a mirage!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
PanicAttack53
♂ Member
Member # 34195
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mini t/j and vent here

This is exactly why it's so hard for a *real* guy to to come across as well... REAL and it pisses me off to no end. Idiots like this get their jollies by pawning themselves off as good guys and waiting for a crack in the door so they can pounce with their bullshit pick up, or worse one night stand lines. Grrrrrrrrr!!!

BTW, believe it or not, this type of behavior is not gender specific. Sorry, t/j and mini vent over.

She11ybeanz, I'm so sorry you had to run into one of these idiots. Please know there *are* guys out there that still respect the process and women in general.

[This message edited by PanicAttack53 at 1:05 PM, June 3rd (Monday)]


Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 60 | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Posts: 868 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Midwest
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PanicAttack53..... Thank you!

I do still have hope that there are still good guys out there....and have faith that perhaps chivalry isn't dead...


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
VioletPush
♀ Member
Member # 31365
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but why did you continue this back and forth with him and why did you send him your picture?

You seemed to know this guy wasn't right for you, but you continued to encourage him. Do you think you enjoyed his "attention" and just wanted to keep it going a bit even after you knew what kind of encounter he was looking for?

You say you always attract men like him, but it doesn't seem from this example that you're able to firmly resist their pull. I mean, not that you invited him over... But you participated in his game longer than necessary.

Just a thought...


Got rid of a lot of baggage, moved across the country, and am moving on with my life!

Posts: 235 | Registered: Mar 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't know his intentions until AFTER I had sent him my picture. He didn't mention coming to my house or send me his inappropriate photo until after I had done that. I would have never sent him any photo if he had acted like that first. No way! Once I shut him down when he wanted to come over, I kindly said I had to go to bed and said goodnight and then promptly blocked him from my phone.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL! I've been out of the dating game for a decade (my entire adult life lol!) so I'm a little shocked at the...um...bravery(?) that some guys show.

I'm attracted to guys who are a bit aggressive and shows interest from the beginning but it seems that many guys think some compliments and some porn-level selfies is enough to "charm" a girl out of her pants. lol! Nope, not this one.

She11ybeanz, I would be seriously be disheartened if I were actually *looking* for a new guy. So many out there are complete idiots with ZERO game like the unfortunate loser you encountered.

Right now I'm mostly focusing on working on myself and how I present myself. Although I will admit that I do enjoy the attention from the sexy but idiotic men I seem to attract right now before shutting them completely down. Hopefully the quality of guys who approach me will increase significantly. lol!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 20

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