Shockeman, I agree with others who have asked what YOU want to do.
I thought that you had come to this forum right before I did...did I miss something and you only confronted your wife 8 days ago? (Or am I missing something now...which I don't doubt considering my mental state these days lol)
Anyway, it took my WH five days to start being a little bit honest and to go NC, and 7 days to pretty much admit it all. He still didn't truly begin to realize what he had done (demolished our 33 yr M with a sledgehammer) until about two weeks out.
I'm going to throw something out here and please keep in mind that this is MY situation, but I wanted to say that WH immediately offered to leave the home if I wanted him to. I DID want him to...however, I stopped myself from that because I knew in my own heart that once he left, I would never take him back. We hadn't been fighting pre-D-Day and so I knew that we would not fight (I threw things, but not at him, and he kept his temper at all times).
Part of my being blindsighted by this is my own devastated pride because I honestly did not see it coming. People talk on here about how it feels like we've been sleeping with the enemy, and yep, that's what I felt. So I WANTED to take care of myself and I wanted to allow WH to see what he had done. I didn't want drama, I didn't want to play-act my anger or hurt...we spent hours into every single night him listening, and my repeating over and over how every single part of my life had just changed, and how I didn't get a vote.
I guess what I'm trying to share is that I reallllly thought that I would never put up with an affair...and maybe I won't...but what's best for ME is to not make any rash decisions right at the moment until I see how this will pan out and also until I can heal a bit and get my own strength back.
Cyber hugs to ya!