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Newest Member: sjluu (45317)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: just found out..
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gently, and rhetorically:

She has been involved with this guy (who talks very sexually) for six months. Why do you believe they have only kissed?

The shame of being unfaithful, especially given your relationship to families here,
could be the cause of the tears - could it not?

I agree with the others, if there was SA in her past - she needs to deal with that, before any decisions are made.

I wish you peace, even just a moment of it - cause this stuff is just so hard to sort through. Be sure to get enough fluids, force yourself to each something, anything, just a smoothie if that is all you can stomach. ((innocence))

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4127 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My heart goes out to you my friend. Infidelity cuts very deep and causes so much pain.

You've already been given some very sound, practical, and extremelly wise advice. I would also like to add that it can take anywhere from 2-5 years of actively working on a relationship that has experienced infidelity to heal from it. Some longer, some shorter depending on the circumstances. So if your GF is going to be gone for the next 3 years you won't have even healed at that point and you will have all kinds of thoughts and anxiety over this relationship if you chose to continue with her. You deserve better than that.

I know the pain and the desire to hold on to someone you love. I know you want this to work. But your GF has a lot of issues to work through. At this time in her life she thinks cheating is an option. Is that the type of person you want in your life?

It's hard to take the emotion out of these types of decisions. I hope you can lean on and seriously consider what those who have already been where you are are telling you. It's very tough but you will get through this.

Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 22
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