you see, the QDRO settlement went through a couple weeks ago and he got a chunk of my $$, which I am sure he promptly cashed out. Ouch, this stings!!!!

What an idiot for cashing out tax-deferred money and wasting it on such a silly thing.

I'm sure you won't care at all when the time comes, but way to go genius, putting your retirement at risk for a Hawaii wedding. Tryingagain is right on with her grasshopper/ant analogy. You have plenty of time to rebuild, but he's making one bad decision after another. So glad you're rid of this loser!

Lovely location or not, knowing you are marrying somebody's damaged seconds, on his ex-wife's money, borrowed against your future...priceless. What a loser wedding, no matter what the photos look like.

Edited because my ipad changed "on someone who deserves him" to "in someone who deserves him" I wasn't trying to be that crude!!

[This message edited by nolight at 5:13 AM, June 3rd (Monday)]

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

I don't know why a need is there to rub it in. I've actually asked Perv, in times of major distress, why more pain is coming, kind of trying to say, "Leave me alone. Leave us alone."

Why can't your XH or Perv (I don't want to generalize, so I use the two for example) just go away?

Sending the pictures was tacky, yes and also callous, for me a disregard for your kid's own feelings as well. But I understand it isn't about other people and is all about your XH or Perv now. I'm sorry.

Sending the pictures to your kids may also be a way to get them to you as a dig and I'm sorry for that, too.

I'm cheering you on for focusing on yourself, it's easy words to say, but not easy concepts to put into action.