I remembered I never had him...he never truly cared. If he loved me and wasn't so screwed up he would see me through rough times. Not try to force his ideas of healing on me.
This is exactly how I feel/felt. It's been 2 years for me since DDay and this is still the hardest thing to swallow.
Just wanted you to know you are heard and it struck a chord with me.
You are not alone.