Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: tryingtolove (44683)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dammit. I Knew Better.
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Frustrated  Posted: 12:34 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DSD #2's birthday is today. I haven't seen her in over five years.

The only contact we've had has been me sending her birthday text messages and her acknowledging them. My conversation thread with her is very thin as a result.

Still...I hemmed and hawed for the past few weeks on even sending one this year. I have tried to stay on the high road and acknowledge her and her sister's birthdays even though it's painfully obvious they don't really want me in their lives. The last time DSD #1 contacted me was around the holidays. I've seen my(?) granddaughter twice since she was born - shortly after her birth and at Christmas. No contact since then, though I've pulled back myself (that "hot stove" theory we all know so well).

I've not been wished a Happy Birthday by either of them in years. Mother's Day? Naw. I guess my replacement has taken over for that.

As a result, I was *thisclose* to not sending it but relented this morning and off it went.

When I didn't see a response after a couple of hours, I sent a text to Rico asking if her number was the same thinking (hoping) it had changed.

It hasn't. It's pretty freaking obvious she received it and is choosing to not respond. I guess it is her way of permanently closing the door.

So be it. I guess you really can be in someone's life since they were 14 months old and raise them from 3 years old well into their twenties and still not mean a damn thing to them.

I really wish I had just listened to myself.

Oh well. Onward and upward.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ajsmom)))


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13719 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ajsmom))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24961 | Registered: Aug 2011
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Aj))) Ouch I'm really sorry


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197207 | Registered: May 2002
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ajsmom)))

Posts: 34653 | Registered: Mar 2011
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it's painfully obvious they don't really want me in their lives.

Print this out and put it on your fridge.

arseholes...


(((ajm)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17317 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Random thoughts
♀ Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Their lost because most sane people would all who love them in their lives.

Speaks volumes about which life path they chosen to take.

Sorry it turned out this way. Time to close the doors and windows in that house.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1578 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ajsmom--sorry that happened. You are the bigger person and good for you for continuing to try and keep in contact. It really sucks that some people can be so cold, or cruel or maybe just clueless about those things. It really says more about her than it will ever say about you.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2105 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry (((((((Ajsmom)))))))


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3394 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((AJSMOM)))))


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Jan 2010
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((AJ's Mom))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5013 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
ExposedNiblet
♀ Member
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ajsmom)))))

I'm so sorry.


Divorced
Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.


Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know . . . This isn't about you. It is about not upsetting the apple art with their father, who would take it out on them. Plus, as they look to him for an example, well, you get the picture.

It doesn't make it any less hurtful.

However, the more I learn about NPD and its ripple effect on everyone around the narcissist, the more sense these seemingly random acts of cruelty make.

The narcissist's love and devotion is conditional and must be earned daily under a set of ever changing rules.

Cat

[This message edited by Catwoman at 7:34 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)]


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29583 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
windows
Member
Member # 14054
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just hugs for you...

Posts: 397 | Registered: Mar 2007
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ajsmom)))

They can never turn around and accuse you of abandoning them. Maybe one day they'll grow up emotionally and see how much you've done for them. If not, at least you can have peace that you tried.


"I move slow and steady, but I feel like a waterfall."

Posts: 659 | Registered: Mar 2013
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ajsmom)))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15382 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry. (((ajsmom)))


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3081 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry honey. I came to that same conclusion about my nieces on XH side. I raised their moms so they were more like grand babies to me than nieces.

It hurts, and then you move on.

(((AJM)))


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4645 | Registered: Oct 2007
WakingFromADream
♂ Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ajsmom)))


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And now you know better some more. I'm sorry you're hurt. (((((ajsmom)))))


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19998 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.