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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: "another" positive post
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to post something positive about R. (yeah, again, I know)

We are over 8 months out and I see more and more how much my fWH has truly changed. In ways big and small. He is trying so hard everyday to show me his love and give me support. He recently went through a big stress at work and we spoke about how this could really be an opportunity for him to open up about his feelings and make sure he didn't pull back from me. That morning he ran my bath and then climbed in with me (and etc) and later told me he wanted to make sure that I could feel that he was thinking of me and felt his love. Then this am he offered to get up with the dogs (yay!). I got a text from a friend asking for a BIG favor and I had to leave the house immediately. He asked what he could do to help, then later texted and called me several times to see how it went and how I was doing. He just never would have done these things before.

This was after we spent the weekend performing with our ballroom class a latin routine in a dance recital. My husband! He was great and told me he had a lot of fun.

I have said this before, but if I could go back and erase the LTA but never learn of the CSA or have my H as he is today I would not do it. He was borderline depressed, felt an empty place inside, was unable to fully connect with me or have the emotional bond that we both deserved. He was guarding himself, fearing control, fearing that attachment led to betrayal, etc. We were both making the best of it, but now that I see what is possible I would not go back. Sure the pain has been horrible, but I was living with 75% of the man I married. Now I have close to 100% and we are both so much happier.

So I continue to work on feeling safe. I don't currently fear another affair, but I do fear a return to the old ways. I am vigilant. We both keep working. But I am happy, so much of the time, even though the A is never far from my mind.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for everyone's support over the last months; it has been invaluable.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's WONDERFUL Catlover50. I am very happy to read this!

What is CSA?

Thanks for sharing!
LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2483 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CSA is Childhood Sexual Abuse,correct?

Great post,cat!

My R isn't going well...at all...it's a stretch to even call it an R...but these positive posts give me hope..so thank you for posting.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7756 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all. And (((confused615))). I know how hard you try.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
sailorgirl
♀ Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have said this before, but if I could go back and erase the LTA but never learn of the CSA or have my H as he is today I would not do it. He was borderline depressed, felt an empty place inside, was unable to fully connect with me or have the emotional bond that we both deserved.

catlover, I can imagine writing this someday . . . thank you for reminding me of the big picture.


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! That's a lot of hope you're sending out!

Posts: 631 | Registered: Sep 2012
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
newbeg2011
♂ Member
Member # 31892
Default  Posted: 3:50 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing your positive story. So happy for both of you !


Never forget what I have done to BS but don't let guilt make me quit. STAY IN THE FIGHT ! ! !
WS 47 me
BS 47 her
5 Great Children
DD 1/15/11

Posts: 213 | Registered: Apr 2011
Searchingforhope
♀ Member
Member # 38437
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so great for you both!

thanks for sharing and giving hope to all of us...


Me: BW 51 (didn't have a clue)
Him: FWH 54(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs

PA that lasted approx. 2 weeks. OW was a younger but totally screwed up %#@%!

DDay 4-25-12
Reconciling


Posts: 155 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: California
Topic Posts: 9

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