I totally understand where you're coming from.
While there aren't many things I'm able to believe yet, this I do believe: My husband does love me. His SA allowed him to compartmentalize all the different parts of his life as a way of justifying his behavior. When he was "in his marriage", he loved. When he was acting out, he still loved and, by putting me in a box "there", he thought he was protecting me.
It's taken our CSAT almost 2 years to help me understand that.
The reasoning that takes place in the mind of an addict is beyond anything that makes sense to those of us outside the addiction.
I don't know if those who cheat without an addiction truly still love their spouse or not. I hope so, but if not, I believe it's possible to rekindle that love.
Infidelity brings on so many questions about things we simply believed without doubt before, doesn't it? Yet another sucky part of the betrayal.