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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 3.5 years out...Meeting OW for the first time
timeforchange
♀ Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This weekend DS9 will make his First Holy Communion.

I am divorced and have been apart from ex wh for 3.5 years. He lives with OW. I have never met her..... Or seen her. But I will do this weekend at the restaurant after the church ceremony.

I keep waiting to have emotions or trepidation about this meeting... But am happy to report I feel nothing.

This is what indifference feels like.

3 years ago I would never have imagined simply not caring about meeting her. Time is a wonderfu thing.

I am actually very grateful to her... She played a part in releasing me from a hellish, abusive marriage. Am quite tempted (but won't) to thank her!!!

My life today is wonderful. Full of laughter, happiness and joy. I give thanks everyday for this beautiful 2nd chance in life.

Meeting OW is a total
Non event and that feels good.


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8027 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really wish we had a LIKE for posts - because this one is just awesome timeforchange.

I'm closer to where you are every day and I love that. I also occasionally consider the hell that I lived with for so long is now OW's hell...lol...and that can't help but make me smile.

Hold your head up high lady and handle yourself as I know you will - that you are free and she is now the imprisoned one....


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4563 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4157 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is what indifference feels like.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3156 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
CallMeRed1
♀ Member
Member # 36870
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-Day 19 July 2012
Me - BS - 42
Status: Divorced

Posts: 187 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: England
MissD
♀ Member
Member # 39377
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I really wish we had a LIKE for posts - because this one is just awesome timeforchange.

Agree, very nice!


Posts: 70 | Registered: May 2013
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5191 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can always thank her for taking the SOB off your hands.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
FieldsOfLavender
♀ Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I look forward to the day that I will be where you are timeforchange.

Posts: 198 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
okaynow
♀ Member
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2431 | Registered: Mar 2007
movingforward777
♀ Member
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is wonderful when you reach the point where you don't give a rat's ass what they are doing or who they are doing it with.....
Always take the high road...although you would love to tell her a few things you are so much the bigger person for not doing it....
Let the focus be on your son and his first communion...you don't have to sit with your exH and his wife at the restaurant...you can put yourself at the far end of the table away from them, surround yourself with family you can talk with, and enjoy the celebrations!
I'm happy for you that you have reached the "indifference" stage...it makes life so much easier when you don't have an emotional response to everything your exH is doing/saying.....HUGS


You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4841 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would absolutely hand her a small bouquet and thank her verbally for playing a role in what's turned out to be the very best time of your life.

Yeah, I'm a bitch like that.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1766 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
stronggirl72
♀ Member
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would absolutely hand her a small bouquet and thank her verbally for playing a role in what's turned out to be the very best time of your life.

^^^


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 154 | Registered: Oct 2012
Beemer
♀ Member
Member # 38499
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!


BW - Me (33)
FWH - Him (34)
Married - 8years
D-Day - 06/06/12
Status - Trying...things are good :)

Posts: 77 | Registered: Feb 2013
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's so great to hear. I hope that I can reach that goal as well.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3607 | Registered: Oct 2011
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Such powerful words. I personally thank you for sharing.
My mother used to say "blessing in disguise" as message of encouragement.
OW significantly did you a favor and your life is once again joyful
Congratulations to your DS9 important life milestone!!!!!


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 615 | Registered: Jul 2012
timeforchange
♀ Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah thanks for all the funny and touching comments.

Must confess am torn between thanking her, wishing her luck (he is non-medicated bi polar) or telling her to run!!!! She is very young (20 years his junior)!!

Won't do any of those though...

Will enjoy the day... And Before we meet the ex, ows and horrendous ex inlaws in the evening we have 45 friends and family at home in the afternoon.

That will be the true celebration and my way of thanking all those who supported us and befriended us over the last 3.5 years.

Hoping to see more of you here in Indifference Land very soon.


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
BoardPearl
♀ Member
Member # 25463
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Isn't it wonderful? That feeling of indifference.

I have met OW at drop offs a couple of times, and we are friendly (they live in another country so it isn't often). I was scared to death to meet her two years past Dday, but it felt great afterwards. I was done with the wondering.

Congratulations on your DS Holy Communion!


Posts: 1114 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Europe
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How did meeting OW go?


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2149 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

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