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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: This guy pisses me off
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Flame  Posted: 9:07 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sent ex-shat a text a few days ago to confirm dates for Teslet's trip. Asked him when he was picking Teslet up. Told him when I would be coming to get Teslet. Provided info for stuff I had signed Teslet up for this summer. Told him unless he told me differently that I would call Teslet every other night while he was gone at X time.

Got the response text...1st one I felt absolutely nothing for...I was grumpy cat with a "Good" caption. 1st text said everything was fine with him. That he was sending me his entire tax refund and explained why it's so late. (shit, dude...really don't care about your lies...I mean come on...they held it up because you put my last name as Teslet's legal last name?? You don't know your son's legal fucking name?? I am not your stupid stripper whore. It must shock the fuck out of you when I text using multi-syllabic words.)

The second text came a little later...

Stripper whore has an uncle that has offered to watch Mosley, but if you'd like to see him I can bring him by when I pick up Teslet...

Background: last fall before D was final, ex-shat broke into the house and stole Mosley (he actually meant to steal the other dog, Lie-Lie, -- long story --). There wasn't anything I could do about it because I didn't have exclusive use of the house. (Newbies...there is a lesson here! Get exclusive use of the house and put stuff about pets in writing as well!!!)

Anyway...I'm pissed. What the fuck? You are going to let me dog sit the animal you stole from me?? This 85 lb malamute with a chewing habit has been cooped up in a two bedroom apt with another dog, rats (actual rodent rats...not the human ones), snakes and three, sometimes four people. This poor animal has not been able to run in months. I'm sure he's developed some very bad habits.

But I do want him. I want to see him again. Fuck.
Teslet was just saying the other night that he missed Mosley and wants Mosley to come back and live with us. What will this do to him when he sees Mosley coming home but then Mosley has to go back??? Ugh.

And I know ex-shat is only doing this out of selfish motivation. Maybe he would like me to reciprocate by letting him watch Lie-Lie (over my dead body). Maybe he's trying to look like a good guy for something else.

Fuck this guy.
Help. What do I do? I do want to see Mosley. God, I miss that dog so much. BUt it's going to hurt having to give him back.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
LovesLaboursLost
♀ Member
Member # 37272
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My apologies if you mentioned this elsewhere, but why do you have to give him back? If the ex broke in and stole him...then is stupid enough to return him, can't you just keep him?
Like, "pet sitting? What pet sitting? This is my dog, who lives here, at my house, like he's supposed to..."


I'm a work in progress.

Posts: 81 | Registered: Oct 2012
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wanted Lie-Lie in the final D (thought I would trade her for Mosley). Told the lawyer to write up the papers so we each got the dog that was in our possession. Judges where I am at look at dogs as property and L advised me taking it before a judge would end in the judge awarding me one dog and ex-shat the other. Sigh.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What will this do to [Teslet] when he sees Mosley coming home but then Mosley has to go back??? Ugh.

This is what gets me. The rest, I understand, it's tough, but this^^^....

Were I in your unfortunate shoes in this instance, Tes, I'd have to respond with a simple variant of "It would be too difficult and confusing for Teslet if Mosley came home temporarily but was not able to stay, as he misses having Mosley at home."

I'll be honest though: I'd be hoping like hell that ex-shat's response would be, "well then you can keep him"

[This message edited by Amazonia at 9:38 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)]


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13798 | Registered: Jul 2011
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^ Excellent idea. Worth a shot.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 350 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ASSHOLE!!!!!

((((tesla & Teslet))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2606 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get Mosely home, and have him go to a neighbors house when it's pick up time.
Where's the dog? Oh he ran off yesterday still trying to find him. I will let you know if I do.

YES I KNOW IT's LYING, but hell he's abusing the dog. Those babies need to run and play, and spend most of their time outside. NOT trapped in a tiny apt and not getting what he needs.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an ass. I feel like the Mosley offer is a lure. Just feels weird. Does Mosley usually have a pet sitter? Why her uncle? If he needs a pet sitter, why can't you just have Mosley?

I totally would try Amazonia's idea!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2270 | Registered: Oct 2012
debbysbaby
♀ Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Were I in your unfortunate shoes in this instance, Tes, I'd have to respond with a simple variant of "It would be too difficult and confusing for Teslet if Mosley came home temporarily but was not able to stay, as he misses having Mosley at home."

^^^^
I'd have to use this on him.

FTG!


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 880 | Registered: Aug 2011
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This sucks, it really really really sucks, but you need to say no.

He is using the dog against you to get your reaction. As much as you want to see Mosley (and I still say we pull a raid and take the dog back)....say no.

One, because this is not the response he is expecting. Two - NC = no new hurts. If you really are not going to be able to get the dog back, then you need to start moving forward without the dog...(uggg...that hurts to just type out)

XH got our dog in the divorce because I had no place to put a Great Dane. I would sneak to our neighbor's house when they would dog sit for him and hang out with her....it just got to be way to hard. Every time I would try to convince the neighbors that the dog ran away, but she wa chiped, so....anyway...

***on a side note, to bad you dont have a friend that he doesnt know...you could take Mosely - have him 'run away' and then just know that he's in a better place then ex-shats....but that would really hurt Teslet...booo to really crappy ex's


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Were I in your unfortunate shoes in this instance, Tes, I'd have to respond with a simple variant of "It would be too difficult and confusing for Teslet if Mosley came home temporarily but was not able to stay, as he misses having Mosley at home."

^^THIS.

Can you report him to the RSPCA (or whatever its called it in the US?). Or a Malamute protection society or even his apartment complex? Surely its not OK to have a large, active dog in a small apartment/zoo?

I still can't believe he stole a dog.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
TXBW68
♀ Member
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other part to this is that it wouldn't be fair to Mosley. I'm sure he misses you too! If he comes to visit and then has to leave again, he will miss you even more.

This whole story has sucked extra large balls since he broke into your house and stole Mosley to begin with. But, things have been stable over the last few months where the dog is concerned. Not good, but stable. It's really not fair to you, Teslet or Mosley. Unless he gives you full permanent custody of Mosley, IMO you shouldn't pet sit for him. That will break everyone's heart when it's time for him to leave.

((Tesla, Teslet and Mosley))


Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 792 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Clarrissa
♀ Member
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tesla, could you make a quick trip across the border to Ohio? We got a lot of room where we are. Plenty for a large dog to run around in. The only problem I would anticipate is if Mosely needed a fenced area...


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5891 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you report him to the RSPCA (or whatever its called it in the US?). Or a Malamute protection society or even his apartment complex? Surely its not OK to have a large, active dog in a small apartment/zoo?

Sadly, animal neglect laws in the US are woefully inadequate. In my state, the law is food, water, shelter. That's all you need to provide. The food doesn't need to be what the animal actually eats or is healthy for them, the water doesn't have to be clean or full, and the shelter doesn't have to keep them warm or out of the elements.

I hate ex-shat so much. I agree with the others -- it would be too hard on Mosley, teslet, and you to have him and then have him go away again. Once again, FTG.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3405 | Registered: Dec 2011
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for talking me back off the ledge. I wanted so badly to say yes because maybe, just maybe he would see what a nice, wonderful person I am and give the Moser back. Sigh. But we all know that's not what would have happened.

I did consider letting Mosley "run away." But yeah, that won't work because goddammit, I travel that fucking lonely ass high road. Fuck me for being classy and not stooping to his level.

I sent back nearly word for word what Ama suggested. I did add that should he ever need to rehome Mosley that Teslet would be more than happy to have Mosley come home. *shrug* Ex-shat will read it as a guilt trip but fuck him if the mother-fucking truth guilt trips him. Would it kill this fucker to do the right thing for once instead of the selfish thing?

And here's what kills me...I had come to a tenuous acceptance that Mosley was not coming home. I had started thinking about when would be a good time to get a new pup. Teslet is getting very good at giving Lie-Lie commands and making sure her food bowl is full. I was even starting to browse a rescue site this past weekend.

But now...now I'm hoping Mosley comes home again.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad but true...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20284 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As the lone male responding, I am going to suggest that you reconsider your position.

My intuition tells me that this will put you on a path towards spending more time with the Moser and eventually getting him back full time.

Yes, it will be hard to say goodbye when he goes back, but maybe things could proceed eventually where Teslet wants to have him around wherever he is.

Teslet says goodbye to him all the time.

Stripper whore likely doesn't want Mosley around and you can give him face saving way of letting him go.

Having a dog that big can't be pleasant in an apartment.

My lawyer gave me some excellent advice way back when. " You catch more bees with Honey than you do with Vinegar"

Unless you try this out, you may never know if you will get him back.

You would be a fool (yep I said that!) if you don't give this a try. You really don't have that much to lose.

He will give you more chances to be with him. Don't you think the Moser would like to spend some time with you????

Avoid the pack mentality of always going negative when dealing with asshat.

He did steal your dog by breaking in. That really stinks. However, you likely would not have been able to keep both dogs if we wanted to contest things.

Be pragmatic....

[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 8:46 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)]


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 5:32 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first thoughts were along the lines of Bebba1171's thinking.

Ex-shat stole Mosley (albeit mistakenly if his true target was Lie-Lie) to hurt you. Maybe he is now looking to off-load Moser and follow his favourite path - the one of least resistance and effort - due to his ever expanding menagerie (including stripper whore and SW spawn) taking up his precious self absorbed time.

Maybe if you show that its no big deal to take on Moser and hand him back, you know as a favour to him, he will eventually give him to you as it is the easiest thing to do. Plus as he is no longer scoring 'hurt points' against you as you have shown its no big deal, just for the good of the dog you know whatever ex-shat, his thrill is gone.

You know ex-shat best though so you know what a true douche he is and can be.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO taking Mosley gives him another chance to beat you with his Asshat-ness.

It is so very tempting by design. He KNOWS you would take Mosley back in a nano-second. He KNOWS it will hurt you to give him back.

NIKs refrain "they know how to push our buttons because they installed the fuckers" is apt here.

Shields up.

You're willing to take him if its for good any time, any day. NOT temporarily.

FTG.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I personally don't give a shit what ex shat feels, thinks or wants. This has nothing to do with denying him some sort of whatever, or playing any game.

Teslet doesn't deserve that kind of confusion.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13798 | Registered: Jul 2011
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