This really bothers me. Before DD I would feel jealous because he could get out of the house and since I am a SAHM- I never get a "day off". Sometimes he'd call right before going out, oh the guys and I are grabbing drinks. Very last minute. I look back and see that this was a big boundary issue. No respect for me and my time.
Well since DD, I can't but help think that he should not be going out for cocktails, let alone bar hopping. Any advice on "restrictions"?
The grass is greener on the other side. But they put chemicals on theirs.
After d-day I made it easy on her and made it a deal-breaker. She complained a few times and I told her life is all about choices and she is just as free to make hers as I am to make mine.
Good luck. If he enjoys it so much, he shouldn't have a problem taking you along. And if he does take you along, you should enjoy it too.
IMO, he should be part of the drinks, but a really good boss would bow out early, deputing an employee to pay the bill and put in for reimbursement. Employees generally don't want their bosses around when they let their hair down.... Your H needs to understand he's not one of the boys anymore, and that's entirely separate from his A. You could ask him why he doesn't realize this....
Sounds like your H ought to make at least a few more attitude adjustments.
WH did not have his affair via bars. But when dday came around, he revealed that women flirt with him despite having his ring on. Uhhh ok, your point? He can't control what they do. Ok but you can control flirting back and leading them on which is what he did. His reasoning: I liked seeing I could still do it. I liked that attention and ego stroking . I turned it around and said oh ok. So by your logic it would be ok with you if I go and flirt, accept drinks, make innuendos, etc just make sure I don't sleep with them? He looked horrified and said no. I screamed back then why the hell was it ok for you to do it? Sorry for the thought jam. My wayward has a lot of double standards.
This is why I need SI. It helps so much to be able to vent before talking things over with WS. That way I don't seem so co-dependent.