I think I'm making a little progress in IC on figuring out my "whys". I would love to get feedback from those of you who have been down this road already.
1) I have a super developed inner critic who tells me I'm "less than" everyone around me. Not as: smart, pretty, stylish, socially smooth, conversationally witty, funny, put together... You get the picture.
2) I am a helper or fixer. I have a driving need to do things for other people. I don't believe this comes from a need for external validation although I seek some of that too. I think it's because inside me I'm not as important as other people. I get a good feeling from helping others even if I'm the only one who knows it. This is a good quality when one doesn't take it too far and do for others to the detriment of self.
As part of fixing my why's I'm working on shrinking my inner critic to a healthier level and teaching myself that I am worthy of my own care, helping and fixing.
This feels like I'm on the right track. I'm still trying to find where I got this message that I am less than others.