Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: MovingPast (44273)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Planning 20th Anniversary. Too soon?
Yakamishi
♂ Member
Member # 38230
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Next January will be 20 years. Before D Day 9 months ago WW had hinted she wanted to go on a cruise. But with everything that has transpired....I'm not so sure.

Do I think we'll make it? Heck ya. There are bad days, but the good days outnumber them and are fantastic.

So...being only 9 months into R, should we be even thinking about going away for our 20th?


Me: BH
Her: WW Mrs.yaka
Kids:4
Variouse clues to EA. WW promised it would stop.
D-Day of EA 9/13/2012 2:01PM found 2 yrs of text messages, confessed to EA
D-Day of PA: confessed on 9/22/12 11:53 PM. Worst moment of my life

Posts: 211 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Massachusetts
Dare2Trust
♀ Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You just found your new MC yesterday, right?
Why don't you give the counseling awhile - and try not to worry about the future so much right now. Work on the present issues you're having with your WW and the marriage and see how things go.
Wishing you the very best - you both desever it!


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6112 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO, too soon brother. You've been back together less than a month. Work on you for a while. Has she been showing true remorse yet? How long has she been sober?

On another issue, the kids probably need to see a stable home life for a while. Mom there consistently and showing them a truly loving side. How are they holding up?

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2549 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone's journey is different. For me, this year was the first one that I felt like *celebrating* our anniversary - 7 years later!

4 years after was our 25th anniversary. H so wanted to go away to celebrate. It just wasn't in my heart. So what we did - and this is just semantics, but it allowed me to enjoy a great vkay in Antiguq - we went away but did not call it an anniversary trip. It was simply a vacation. Something we desperately needed.

I'm sure in his mind it was an anniversary trip still, but it helped me not to think of it as an anniversary celebration.

You have plenty of time to decide if you will be ready to celebrate... cruises aren't exactly selling out these days!


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 5999 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, Yak, I think you need a 2 X 4: How do you get 9 months of R?

On 3/14 you posted that your W left and that she wasn't really doing what was needed to heal herself, much less to R. Apparently she came back, because on May 14, you posted that you were separating and she moved out again.

R is possible for you, but your W is the road block. You're already on board; her commitment is very, very much unproven. One day at a time now, and for months to come.

I understand you're excited to have her back with you, but you need to treat your relationship as extremely shaky for the foreseeable future - focus your energy on today alone.

[This message edited by sisoon at 2:23 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9761 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.